Arthur knows
by boots-ff
Summary: This is a story about Arthur who, instead of being blind for almost all of the series, gets told and shown what Merlin can do. From the very start. Haven't you also watched episode by episode asking yourself what Arthur would say or do, if he found out right in this moment? If he could see what Merlin can do? How would he react? More info in the first chapter!
1. A Dragon's Call

Hello everyone!  
And welcome to my first fanfiction in at least five years!

So, what is it about? It is about Arthur who instead of being blind for almost all oft he series gets told and shown what Merlin can do. From the very start. Haven't you also watched episode by episode asking yourself what Arthur would sayor do, if he found out right in this moment? If he could see what Merlin has been doing? How would he react? Would he appreciate it? My story offers a possible answer to that. But remember, the main story will not change! It will go on, episode by episode just showing Arthurs look about each event after it already happened! It will change more as it comes tot he end, well not really change, just a few things getting added. Excluded from this statement are the last two episodes, maybe something will play out a little after all. If you want to get inside Arthurs head, maybe do his view on one of your favourite episodes yourself, click here. I did my best for you to have at least a little fun! ;-)

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of this, except Cassandra, everything she does and says and every action related to her. Even though I am acting Pretty close to the series and copy a few sentences from it. Merlin was an assignment from NBC Unlimited and BBC One for Shine Unlimited!**

* * *

**The dragons call**

I had to admit, I was a bit surprised. This beautiful clearing in the woods was not really what I had expected. The castle, the training grounds or his own chambers but not the woods outside of Camelot. I scanned my body with my hands. It was still my own, pale and small. I was wearing the same emerald dress I laid down with and my long red hair flew around me as I turned. "Good, good", I murmured while closing my eyes. Part one complete, time for part two. I walked a little circle while keeping my eyes closed, picturing what I needed and what I needed it for. I could feel how it drained me, so I opened my eyes and looked at the little pond I just created. It looked more like an egg than a circle but hey, I had my eyes closed. The image in the pond changed quickly. I could see Camelot, Uther, Gaius, Merlin and at least Arthur, he was laying in bed, peacefully asleep. Well, now comes part three.

„You don't like him very much, do you?"  
Arthur turned, so quick, his cape flew around him. „Who are you? Where the hell am I?" His hand went to his hip to draw his sword, but it wasn't there. His blue eyes pierced through my green ones as I smiled a little mockingly.  
"My name is Cassandra. You can call me Cass or Cassie, if you like." Although I knew the irony of the name I chose would be completely wasted on him, I couldn't hide a grin. "And where you are? Well, why don't you take a closer look." I gestured to the little pond next to me.  
Arthur looked around before he came closer. The fact that I wasn't radiating any threat or danger seemed to calm him a little, but he stayed vigilant. "What is this place?"  
Again I gestured towards the pond. Arthur looked inside and flinched. The surface showed him, laying in his bed, eyes closed, mouth open, snoring a little.  
"That is your body right now. It is the middle of the night, you are sleeping."  
"And I am supposed to believe that? You show me a picture of me in a pond, obviously with magic and you want to tell me, that we are in a dream? That nothing of this is real?" He gestured towards the grass and the woods around us, without letting me out of his sight.  
I smiled. "This is not really a dream. Technically we are inside your mind and not I chose the setting for our meeting, you did. Which is actually quite interesting."  
He still seemed confused, so I continued: "The way you are dressed, you seem most comfortable in your armour, even when there is no one to fight. You function as a knight of Camelot, yet we are out here in the woods, instead up in the capital, where I, I must admit, thought we would be. Feeling a little trapped there?"

I nodded in the direction of the big, impressive castle that rose above the crowns of the trees.  
"Even if everything you say is true, I do not know you! You can't be in my mind, so you must be a sorceress, using dark magic to trap me here! And I won't just let you do that!" He came at me, trying to attack but in a blink of an eye I was standing at the other side of the pond, raising an eyebrow.  
"I will give you two points out of four. Yes, you do not know me, yes, I am kind of a sorceress using magic to be here but no, it is not dark magic nor do I want to trap you. The reason I am here is him."  
The image in the pond changed, now showing a skinny young man, with raven hair and a brown jacket, sleeping in a cell.  
"Wait, I know this one. I put him in jail today!"  
"Yeah. He tried to call you out for being an ass and you got him arrested."  
"He tried to hit me."  
"And you had it coming. You actually were an ass." Arthur looked at me, unsure how to react.  
"I am the son of the king and, according to your words, we are in my mind, you can't just talk to me like that."  
"Yeah? Why not? Will you arrest me too?" I was standing next to him again, making him look down to my 5'6 feet.  
He seemed conflicted but answered: "I can't have you arrested. You are a girl and you say we are inside my mind, so what good would that be?"  
I nodded satisfied. "You are starting to be reasonable much sooner than I thought. I would have guessed you would attack me much more until you'd realise it wouldn't lead you anywhere."  
He clenched his fists but left his mouth closed.  
"Well, as I was saying, I am here because of him." I turned a little to look into the pond myself.

"Do you remember his name?"  
"No. I can't remember everyone I had arrested."  
"If everyone you got arrested deserved it, you could remember them. Think about it." By the looks of it, maybe he would attack me again. So I moved on.  
"His name is Merlin. He arrived in Camelot yesterday, living with Gaius."  
"Gaius? He is too young to be a physician."  
"Yes, he is. And that is not why I am here. You will see tomorrow." I took a few steps around him and pushed him into the pond. His expression just went from surprised to angry, when the dream dispersed and I was standing at his bedside, watching him abruptly waking up. He was sitting upright in his bed, with a vigilant look and although I knew he couldn't see or hear me, I hold my breath. But just one second later he moaned and fell back to sleep. Good. So that part two worked too.

* * *

"You actually made a little fool of yourself today!" The grin on my face was so big it showed my teeth.  
Arthur turned around, just like last night, but without the cape. "You again!" He pointed his finger at me and tried to draw his sword again, realizing it wasn't there.  
"You should know by now that it won't do you any good to attack me. Your mind only gives you weapons when you have to really defend yourself, so it won't get hurt more that necessary. And it knows that I am not your enemy. Unlike you."  
"I wanted to tell my father about this. I wanted send a search party for you, but I couldn't remember a thing. What have you done to my memory?"  
I shrugged. "Nothing. But, for the metaphor, when could you actually really remember a dream? Remember specific details and plans, not just a weird feeling you forgot by breakfast?"  
He opened his mouth, but no words came out.  
"You see, this might be your mind, but I am in control of our connection. And you will not remember anything, not today and none of the encounters that will come. Not unless I want you to."  
He opened his mouth again but I raised my arm and continued: "And there is no way, you can make me do anything here. You wouldn't even be able to touch me. See?"

I got closer, grabbed his hand and tried to put it on my arm. As soon as it should have touched me, my skin dissolved into smoke that gathered around my hand holding his and put itself back to my arm as soon as I took a step back. Arthur stared at his hand with a mix of disgust and fascination.  
"But you pushed me! Last night!"  
I nodded. "Yes, I can touch you but not the other way around. Maybe I will change that when I can trust you not to try something stupid and time wasting."  
He got angry again.  
"It is not really nice when someone insults and disrespects you all the time, is it? Without you being able to punish him for it?"  
I was provoking him and he was obviously not used to that. It must be a scary and annoying situation for him. He was in a world he had no control over, trapped with a person he didn't know and could not touch. He was helpless. And regarding to the strained look on his face and his tense body he also figured that out.  
"Must be a pretty new experience", I whispered, smiling a little. "I know how it's like. So long I had no control, had to watch the people close to me die over and over..."  
My voice was very quiet, long suppressed memories were fighting to come up, but I shook my head and gazed at Arthur again. "Do you want to know now why I pointed Merlin out to you yesterday?"  
He frowned, but nodded slightly and we stepped to the pond together.

**"I warn you. I've been trained to kill since birth."  
"Wow. And how long have you been training to be a prat?"  
Arthur looked annoyed and amused the same time. "You can't address me like that."  
"Sorry", Merlin grinned. "How long have you been training to be a prat, Mylord?"  
Arthur smiled brighter before trying to attack. Merlin dodged and took a few steps back. The fight played out until Merlin was laying on the ground.  
"You're in trouble now."  
Merlin looked around frantically before focusing on two large hooks behind Arthur that suddenly moved so his spiked mace would get tangled up.  
**"Wait, what just happened?!" Arthur took another step towards the pond. "Keep on watching."  
**Merlin got up and took a few steps back. Arthur followed him, not seeing the small upstanding box that suddenly moved so he would step into it.  
**"Did he just-?" "Keep. Watching."  
**A rope straightened up itself causing Arthur to fall and for Merlin to take his weapon.  
"Do you want to give up?"  
"For you?"  
"Do you? Do you want to give up?" Arthur tripped but Merlin was distracted enough by Gaius watching for him to get up and win the fight.  
The guards came but Arthur intervened. "There is something about you Merlin. I just can't quite put my finger on it."**

The picture in the pond faded away. Arthur was standing next to me, enraged.  
"He is a sorcerer! He used magic!"  
"Yes, he did."  
"He must be taken care of. Immediately! We cannot have a sorcerer walking around free in Camelot!"  
"Why not?"  
"Because sorcery is evil! The only thing magic and enchantments can do is trick the mind and pursue evil!"  
"Is that so?"  
"Of course it is! But how would you know? You are just as evil as him!"  
"So, although I didn't do a thing to physically harm you and Merlin only used his magic to defend himself because he refused to be as slimy as the rest of your pals, we are evil?" Arthur stared at me, the sky-clear blue of his eyes darkened with rage.  
"Let's continue our talk tomorrow. I think you will have a new angle on these things then." And again I hurried around to push him into the pond. He was prepared this time, trying to stand his ground and dragging me along, but my arms and shoulders turned to smoke under his hands.  
"Goodnight Arthur."

* * *

This night, he turned around before I said anything and approached me.  
"I told you magic was evil! Have you known what happened to Lady Helen?"  
"Yes."  
"Why didn't you tell me? My life was on the line! The kingdom!"  
"What good would that have been? You would have been worried and even more unreasonable. And you wouldn't have been able to remember anyways."  
"Then maybe you shouldn't erase my memory!"  
I shook my head, smiling a bit. He scanned me, from my long ginger hair over the simple but pretty emerald dress to my brown leather boots.  
"I will find out who you are and where you are hiding. And I will put an end to this."  
I still smiled. "Maybe. But until that day comes, do you want to carry on?" I gestured to the pond.  
"What is there to see? I know what happened. I was there. "  
"Do you really know? Like you knew how Merlin fought you?" He frowned at me, just like last night, but came closer towards the pond.

**Helen began to sing. She had a beautiful voice and it was a beautiful song. The people closed their eyes, heads were moving towards the table. Merlin noticed what was going on and pressed the palms of his hands against his ears. Soon, he was the only one awake. The lights began to fade, webs and dust formed over the people and tables as if they had been trapped in an endless slumber for several centuries. As Helen was getting ready to throw her knife at Arthur, Merlin, still with his hands upon his ears, glanced at the chandelier and it suddenly came down, burying Helen beneath it. Her song abruptly faded and slowly the people began to move. There were looks of confusion everywhere and almost all of them had to remove some cobwebs from the heads or clothes.  
**Arthur beside me also moved, looking at the picture with shock and confusion, mirroring his own face shown in the pond.  
**The old lady rose up again, grabbed her dagger and threw it after all. It was flying directly at Arthur, when the picture began to slow down, showing Merlin running towards Arthur at normal speed, pulling him aside only seconds before the blade hammered into the wooden back of Arthurs chair.**

"And? Have you already known what happened?" My voice was calm and quiet, but Arthur looked at me like I yelled in his ear.  
"Obviously I did not know that there were magic involved on both sides."  
"Merlin used his magic to save your life. Only a day after he told the Great Dragon he would lend anyone a hand who was trying to take it."  
"Whoa, whoa, what?" I raised an eyebrow, so he continued: "What Great Dragon?"  
I smiled. "I figured you wouldn't have a clue about him, but I couldn't actually be certain. Uther has the last of the dragons locked up in an enormous cave beneath Camelot."  
"He told me he killed all of them! How come Merlin knows about this?"  
"What exactly do you know about magic Arthur? Besides all of the 'Magic is always evil' stuff?"  
This time, he left his mouth closed but folded his arms.  
"Magic is something most people have to learn and study. The spells, enchantments, which herbs work together and how, and which do not. Merlin is different. You maybe have noticed, that he never used a spell. He did what he did with his eyes and mind only. This is, most people including you father and Gaius would say, absolutely impossible."  
"What are you trying to say?"

"That Merlin was born with his power. To put it in his own words, he could make stuff fly around before he was three. So tell me. You meet a little child, that is not even able to read yet, but it can make stuff fly. What would you do?"  
He looked at me like I was absolutely crazy.  
"What? Would you kill it? Arrest it? All magic is evil right?"  
He still wasn't able to answer me.  
"Uther would kill it."  
"No he wouldn't!"  
"Ah, you found your voice again. And yes, he would. He actually did. He purged the city. Killed everyone who had magic. You'll see."  
Arthur looked really angry so I decided to end our conversation here. Give him time to cool off. More or less. I didn't surprise him with my push this time. As I started to go around him he already raised his hands.  
"Do you always have to push me?"  
"You can jump if you want?"  
"Why?"  
"I will tell you next time. Maybe."  
He wanted to say something but I gave him a hard push against his hands and he stumbled backwards into the pond. I actually have to use some of my magic to get that result. With my own body force only I wouldn't even be able to make him trip slightly.


	2. Valiant

**Valiant**

This time we were indeed in his chambers, just like I expected the first time. "Busy week?"  
Arthur looked up and rose from his chair. "You!"  
"You haven't thought it would be over, have you?"  
He scanned the room. "We are somewhere else. And you look different."  
"We are where you want to be. And while you are dressed the way you feel the most calm, I am shown the way I am right know." It was the same dress, but it was blue this time and my hair was pulled back.  
"So you actually have a body. You are somewhere and you can be caught."  
I tilted my head. "Theoretically. But I am in no place you are able to reach. At least not on your own."  
"Why are we here? Why not in the same place as last time?"  
I raised an eyebrow. "I told you, we are where you want to be. Last time, in your heart, you wanted out of the castle. This time, with the tournament going on, I guess you would like to hide in here."  
"I am Prince Arthur. I would never hide."  
"Is that so?" I smiled at him, but left it with that and changed the subject instead. "Sir Valiant is a pretty good fighter."  
Arthur shook his head, annoyed. "You too? He is too aggressive, not fast and strategic enough. I will beat him."  
"And are you really sure about that?" "Of course I am not!" He blinked a few times. "That was not what I wanted to say! I wanted to say I am not sure!" He blinked again, shook his head and finally gazed at me.

"What have you done?"  
I was trying very hard not to laugh out loud, a pretty wide grin on my face. "Let me tell you another rule of this realm", I said, giggling a bit. "You are not able to lie. This is your mind, and while you are able to lie to yourself when you are conscious, you cannot do it here. Your subconscious knows exactly what you think and it won't allow any shenanigans."  
The look on his face was priceless. A mix of horror and confusion. "Allow any what?"  
Oh shit. I guess that word did not existed back then. "Any messing around. But I am not here to explain the mysteries of your own mind to you."

"Then why are you here? Why can't you just leave me alone when I can't remember our encounters anyway?" He sat down and looked at me with am grim face.  
"I want you to remember everything to a very specific time and place. But it will be a long time until then."  
"So why start now?"  
I looked at him a bit disbelieving.  
"Haven't I already told you that the last time?"  
"So it has to do with him then? With Merlin?"  
I nodded. "He is your servant now."  
Arthur rolled his eyes. "It is a miracle he hasn't killed himself with my sword yet."  
I had to laugh. "Come on. It isn't that bad."  
Arthur tried to hide his grin, but wasn't very successful.  
"Merlin thinks Valiant is dangerous", I said getting back to the original topic.  
"He thinks he is a creep. That is not the same."  
"That was yesterday."

Arthur looked at me unsure what to say. Pretending is almost impossible when you are not able to lie the other person already knows what you actually feel.  
"Do you know how Sir Ewan is doing? The knight Valiant wounded pretty badly?"  
He didn't answer me, but I saw the slight shrug.  
"Merlin discovered something. You should be careful."  
"Why can't you just show me what Merlin has been doing? You did it the last time. Where's your pond now?"  
I twisted my mouth to a very forced smile. "There are very strange and complicated rules regarding what I can and cannot show and/or tell you. Believe me, this won't be the last time we both will be annoyed by that."  
"So what am I doing here? This night?"  
I thought over it. "See it as some kind of an introduction. You could ask some more questions and next time you will already know that there was something up with Valiant."  
"And that is really necessary?"  
I shrugged. "Afraid so. But don't worry. You will get used to it." And with these words I took the bowl with water that was suddenly standing on the table and threw the water in his face.

* * *

"Welcome back!" We were in his chambers again. He didn't even bother to actually look at me, so I quietly sat down at the table beside him.  
"Is it true? What Merlin told me?"  
"He swore to you, right?" Arthur nodded, looking at his hands like he could still see the head of the snake.  
"You knew something was off. You didn't like him, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. Why did you change your mind?"  
Now he did look at me, confused. "What do you mean?"  
"Why would you listen to Merlin? He was right; he is just a simple servant. Your father would never listen to him, let alone believe what he has to say. Why do you?"  
His expression changed, thinking about my question. As he opened his mouth I said: "Don't forget that you cannot lie in here."

He closed his mouth but started to speak short after: "I just can't believe Merlin would just make this up. Why would he? Accusing Valiant of using magic is a very serious matter."  
I smiled at him and he looked down, almost like he was a bit embarrassed. "So, if you believe Merlin, you better make a plan. Quick."  
He focused on me again. "What is there to do? I will have to tell my father. If Merlin is right Ewan will be able to confirm his story. And he is a knight, father will believe him."  
I examined him. "Any other plan?"  
He knitted his brows. "Why would I need another plan?"  
I laughed. "You should always have another plan. Especially when it comes to deal with things like that."  
The gap on his forehead deepened. I shrugged.  
"Remember my words." I used a cup in my hand to throw the water at his face this time.

* * *

"This will be a short meeting."  
"You knew it would go wrong." Arthur was furious, reaching for me but dropped his arms at the half way.  
"Yes." No point in denying it.  
"How? How do you know all of this?"  
I smiled but said nothing. He stared at me until he realized I wouldn't answer.  
"What do you expect me to do? I can't withdraw, like Merlin wants me to!"  
"I know. And I am not here to tell you what to do. I am not even here to really talk to you. You wouldn't be listening anyways."  
"Then why are you here. Why can't you just leave me alone?" He sounded tired and a bit beaten up.  
I smiled softly and put my hand on his arm. He recoiled from my touch but gripped him tighter. "  
I am here because you would have had exactly 20 Minutes of sleep this night. If I would have left you alone, you would have woken up in about five minutes, without being able to get any strength. So I intervened and when I will be leaving, you will wake up. But then, morning has already come and you will have slept calmly all night."  
He stared at me unable to say anything. I winked at him and saw some kind of spark in his eyes. I used my grip to shove him in the direction of the bed and the dream dissolved as soon as his head hit the pillows.

* * *

"Enjoyed your feast? Champion?" He was sitting on his bed, without any armour.  
"Valiant revealed himself during our fight. I could beat him."  
I nodded. "I know. Do you want to know why?" I gestured towards small bowl of water, the same bowl I used two nights before to give him an unwelcome shower. "  
So this time you can show me?" He got up and stepped beside me. I just smiled and shrugged.

**The scene started short after Arthur lost his sword and got pushed against the wall. He managed to get Valiant off of him, and the image focused on Merlin, right next to the wall in the arena. He stretched out his arm, mumbling the words of the old language he practiced all night. The two remaining serpents came out of Valiants shield, in the middle of the arena for everyone to see.  
"What are you doing?" Valiant panicked. "I didn't summon you!"  
"He is using magic", Uther murmured.  
"And now they see you for what you really are", Arthur said, still unarmed.  
Valiant looked around, before a mocking grin spread on his face. The snakes completely dropped out of his shield, gliding towards Arthur, hissing.  
Valiant called: "Kill him!"  
Arthur had to fall back from them his back nearer and nearer to the wall.  
"Arthur!", Morgana shouted, throwing him a sword she took from one of the guards. Arthur beheaded both creatures and defeated Valiant. The crowd cheered.**

"You do realize Morgana did indeed save your life?"  
"Yes of course she did!", he called out, causing me to burst into laughter. He looked confused. Then annoyed. And then a bit amused.  
"This will be a real pain in my ass", he sighed, causing me to laugh even louder.  
"But it actually was Merlin, right?", I asked him after I cooled off a bit.  
"He used Magic", Arthur stated.  
"I know. He practiced this spell all night on a statue of a dog that is now going wild in his room."  
Arthur looked amused. "Really?"  
I nodded. "He used his magic to save your life. Again only short after he complained about his destiny by the Great Dragon."  
"His destiny? What is that exactly?"  
I thought about telling him, but decided not to. Yet. "I will tell you that later. He knows it and does not like it. You wouldn't like yours either."  
He looked at me with surprise and doubt in his eyes: "You know my destiny?"  
"And I want to change it. A bit."  
He looked sceptical. "Why?"  
I shrugged. "That will be my secret to keep for now. But don't worry, my insanity has a system."  
He didn't make the impression to be more convinced but didn't asked more either.

"I will let you sleep now. You drank quite a lot. Have fun with the hangover." I prepared myself to throw the bowl again but he stopped by grabbing it first.  
"So I can touch other stuff here, good to know.", he mumbled to himself before focusing on me. "Do you have to do that every time? You didn't do it last time."  
I tilted my head. "When I visit you, our minds are connected. If you would know how, and if I would let you, we could visit mine instead of yours. The water breaks that connection abruptly off, leaving only a very small bond I can use to connect again. Same thing with the fall into the pond or on your bed. If we wouldn't break it off, we could get sucked into the head of each other during the day, even unintentional. I would not want to risk it, would you?"  
He seemed like he was actually thinking about it, so I took his distraction to push him back onto his bed, spilling the water from the bowl all over his body. The last thing he could hear was my laughter as the dream faded away.


	3. The Mark of Nimueh

**The Mark of Nimueh**

"You almost had him this morning."  
Arthurs head bounced up and he glared at me. "Just, when I could get the feeling it is over, there you are."  
I grinned and came closer. "You almost had him this morning", I repeated.  
"I had who?"  
"Merlin. You were searching all of Camelot for the sorcerer, remember?"  
Arthurs face hardened. "Are you telling me Merlin is behind this? This sickness that kills my people?"  
"No! No, no, no that wasn`t what I wanted to say at all!" I was shocked by the thought of it, although I could see how he would understand my words like that. "You listen to me. Merlin will never, ever, be a threat to you or to Camelot. Not when he is free of his actions."  
Arthur looked a bit sceptical before raising his voice. "You know something again."  
I was tempted to deny that but he got up before I could make a sound.  
"You know that someday in the future, Merlin _will not _be free of his actions and then he will try to... do what?"  
I sighed. "That is nothing you have to worry about know. You have different problems." I looked around and giggled.

"There is a lethal sickness out there and suddenly your mind takes the form of your physicians room. You have to admit it is a bit funny."  
He looked like I was a crazy person. Well, maybe I am. "How come that you instantly know where we are? You were never in my chambers and I am pretty sure you weren't with Gaius either. So how do you know?"  
"I watch you. All of you. Not always, actually most of the time I don't but I can watch your past, present and future. I was right next to you when Helen attacked. I was right next to you when you fought Valiant. And I was right next to you this morning, when you overlooked the old book about sorcery in Merlins room." That statement freaked him out, I could see. For him I guess it wasn't like an angel watching over you, more like a demon waiting to make him fall. But he would come around. Eventually.  
"There was what this morning in Merlins room?"  
I laughed. Of course he would focus on that part. "You can go in and look."  
He hesitated to turn his back on me but headed up to Merlins room. I followed him through the door, leaning against the cupboard.  
"It is displayed exactly how you have seen it last."  
He looked around, getting frustrated. "And where is that book supposed to be?"  
I grinned and suddenly we could see a second Arthur and a Merlin, a bit translucent, standing with us in that room.

**"I found a place where you can put things. It's called a cupboard." Arthur closed the door and Merlin forced a smile. He continued to look around and Merlin saw the old book on the floor, right in the open. While Arthur turned his back to look elsewhere Merlins eyes flashed golden for a second and a shirt of his fell of the bed right on the book. Arthur overlooked it while looking under the bed, then he ends his search and leaves. Merlin followed him out, relieved.**

"That sneaky little bastard." I couldn't tell if Arthur was serious or not. He shook his head, went around me and grabbed the book from beneath the shirts.  
"The funny thing is, that you must have seen it for a split second, probably while coming in, or you couldn't see it right now."  
He shook his head again, disbelieving and opened the book. It was blank, every page. "What is this? Do you have to have magic to read this?"  
I grinned. "Interesting thought, but no. You can't read it because you have never actually seen the pages. Your mind can't just have knowledge, it must come from the outside. For me, a few pages I have seen are filled. But you can't see those."  
"Then how could I see what Merlin has done during the tournament? I am most certain I haven't seen that."

I pointed at me. "That's where I come in. When we were looking in the bowl or the pond, we weren't watching the past. We were watching my memories. We saw this scenes how I saw it."  
He stared at me. "I do not know what to make of this", he said finally, throwing the empty book on Merlins bed and heading out.  
I followed. "Then don't. Let us focus on why I am here again."  
He turned around quickly. "You said you could see the future. You know how this sickness is spreading and you know who's behind it!"  
"Yes."  
"Tell me!" He wanted to grab my arms and I actually let him. He did not notice at the time, but he would.  
"What good would that do? You won't remember."  
"There are fifty dead bodies outside at my courtyard! You better tell me right now!" His grip got tighter and I took a step back, watching his hands go through my body in the process. He looked extremely annoyed, clenching his fists.  
"You will have to work on that", I told him. "If you will get angry at me every time I could tell or do something, this bond between us will be a real pain in the ass."

"It already is." He folded his arms and I sighed.  
"I need for you to see the bigger picture. Everything that has to come is only foreplay. There will be incidents way worse than this disease and fifty dead. But I can't interfere until a very, very specific time and place. If I would, the future would change, more or less. And I would not be able to see it anymore! I would not be able to change your destiny and Merlins too! It would be a disaster! I have to set priorities!"  
His face hardened during my speech. "How can you sleep at night, sentencing people to death like that."  
I stared at him. "The same way Uther can, the same way you can once you are king. Because these are exactly the kind of choices you will have to make."  
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. I ran a hand over my face.  
"Let's call it a night here. Your choice, jump out of the window or let me throw water at you."  
He didn't say anything so I made the choice and threw the water. It was really convenient that I could make a cup of it appear in my hand as soon as needed.

* * *

We weren't in Gaius' chambers anymore but in his own. They looked.. nasty.  
"Two days later and everything is over."  
"And 85 people are dead."  
"Yes. It is a pity."  
He examined me, as I was leaning against his wardrobe. "My father said something to me. About hard decisions I will have to make."  
I nodded. "I didn't remember him saying that but it was very convenient to prove my point. But that doesn't mean his decision was right. What you were saying is quite accurate. He hears magic and stops thinking straight."  
"Magic hurt him. Very much", said Arthur, like he was trying to defend him.  
I pulled a face. "I know how much and especially why he has suffered. And believe me, he was acting then like he was acting today. Blaming the magic and the person behind it, rather than questioning himself and what he thinks is right. He developed a pattern back then and he will stick to it even beyond his death."  
He studied my face and I was trying to shake the bitterness and the anger that comes up whenever I saw, heard or talked about Uther Pendragon. Instead I used a different topic to amuse myself.  
"I have never seen what happened to this coat."  
Arthur is wearing his simple clothes, just boots, trousers and a linen shirt. I grabbed the long brown coat he used to wear during his daily duties. "What do you mean?"

I put it on and had to laugh. It was about two sizes too big. The sleeves were way to long and the hem was gliding across the floor when I walked. "When I was a child, I would steal my father's bathrobe and walk in it. I guess that looked pretty similar." I laughed again.  
Arthur didn't laugh but he didn't stare at me like he wanted to get rid of me as soon as possible, like he usually did. "You are in a pretty good mood", he commented, almost sounding amused. Almost.  
I shrugged and smiled. "Yeah, why not? You beat the creature, Gwen didn't have to burn and you were rescuing Merlin from her fate although he directly admitted he's a sorcerer."  
"He healed Gwen's father."  
"Yes he did." "Why did he do that? He must have seen how stupid that was! A whole town is dying from a disease and only one person miraculously survives. It was obvious we would investigate!"  
"Yeah, for people like you and me. Merlin is different. He knew he could heal her father and he couldn't bear watching her suffer. So he took actions without truly thinking about it."

I took off the coat and sat on his bed, legs crossed. Arthur was standing before me, looking down, almost threatening. Any outsider seeing us in his room would never have guessed that I was the person in power. Arthur seemed to notice that, he snorted under his breath and pulled a chair to him to sit down. I smiled softly.  
"One day, you will know that I am not your enemy. And you will be glad to see me after I didn't came for a while and you will hug me when an incident turns out okay, simply because you can, knowing no one is here to judge you."  
He raised an eyebrow, very disbelieving. "Have you seen that? In my future?"  
I shook my head. "No. I can't see anything that involves my own. But I am truly wishing for that to happen. That you can consider me a good friend one day, a person who you can talk about anything with, being sure that I would and could never spill it out."  
"Why?"  
I shrugged. "Because I have started this. And it will continue to happen, for several years at last. And if you think of me as the enemy the whole entire time-" I had to stop and took a deep breath, trying very hard to keep my voice steady. "Then the next few years will be very hard for me. Mentally and emotionally. I am only human." I shrugged again, keeping the tears out of my eyes. More or less.

Arthur seemed completely overwhelmed, he almost goggled at me. I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "So, do you want to see how Merlin saved you this time?" I was nodding towards the bowl that appeared next to Arthur on the table.  
To my big surprise, he shook his head. "No... I already know. He summoned the wind that carried the flame of my torch to the creature."  
I smiled approvingly. "The creature was called an Afanc. It was made by a sorceress out of clay and water-"  
"So he used wind and fire to destroy it", he combined and I nodded again, satisfied.  
"That is correct."  
"What sorceress did this? Who is she?"  
I stood up and he mirrored me. "You will actually meet her pretty soon. But you better not look forward to it. It is the sorceress your father thought he got wronged by."  
"I hate when you make allusions like that. It is very discomforting."  
I grinned. "Well, then you can actually be thankful for not remembering."  
He wanted to answer but I grabbed his hands and took a large step backwards. I was falling onto the bed and Arthur right on top of me. Well, he would have fallen there but I dissolved into smoke and giggled while he was hitting the bed.


	4. The Poisoned Chalice

**The poisoned chalice**

„How is Merlin doing?" We were in the woods. A horse was standing nearby and a little fire flickered beneath a tree. Arthur stood up from the fireplace. I had to hide a grin, because it looked quite funny how he was standing and sitting at the same time. It also looked a little creepy.  
"Dammit. I must've fallen asleep."  
I nodded. "Yes. But I will wake you up as soon as we are done. Don't worry."  
He looked very stressed out. "How could I not worry? Sorcerer or not, Merlin willingly drank from that goblet knowing it was poisoned! I never would have guessed Bayard would try something like this."  
"It wasn't Bayard. He is just a pawn in somebody else's game."  
Arthur looked down to think and finally noticed his strange position. "What is going on?" He took a step back and tried to touch his other self. His hands turned to dust just like mine when he tries to touch me. He stared at them.  
"The place you most want to be right now is exactly here. That doesn't happen a lot, but sometimes it will. It is different than when we are in your chambers because someone's personal space is often a default setting for their mind. That is why your body is not visible then but it is now."  
He looked a bit confused for a moment but got straight back to the topic.

"If it wasn't Bayard, who was?"  
I was pleased to notice, that he didn't seem to question my words anymore. "The sorceress I warned you about last time. Her name is Nimueh."  
"But why would she want to kill me? Why now?"  
I tilted my head. "Think was she really trying to kill you?"  
Arthur frowned. "It was my cup. If Merlin hadn't intervened-"  
"But why did he intervene?", I interrupted him.  
"Because he knew it was poisoned."  
"And what did Uther do?"  
He began to realize. "You said this sorceress knew my father. So she would know he would make Merlin drink... she was trying to kill Merlin!"  
I smiled. "Very good."  
"But why?"  
"While I am showing you my memories in here, she is far more powerful. In her layer, she can see anything at any time. She saw how Merlin saved you, how he thwarted her plans with the sickness. She wants him out of her way." Arthur nodded, very slowly.

"You should hurry", I said, "Gaius found out that she manipulated the poison with magic, making it even more lethal."  
Arthur looked at me a bit sceptical. "And yet you don't seem worried at all."  
I shrugged. "I will always have to keep a straight face. And I can never be sure with what I have seen. My involvement could change everything, that is why I am so precautious with what I let you know. And I can never do more than give you more sleep or wake you up. And even that could already change things."  
He still seemed a bit unhappy but dropped the topic. "How will you wake me up?"  
I came closer to him. "That is a bit more complicated and I couldn't do it, if your body wasn't here. You have to sit just like him, and close your eyes."  
He obeyed, obviously unwillingly, but obeyed nevertheless. Once he sat down in kneeled beside him, laying my palms against his face. I closed my eyes and searched for the strong connection we shared right know. And abruptly cut through it. I jumped up from my bed, as would he, miles and miles away.

* * *

"You were successful."  
He was sitting in Gaius' bed staring at the one Merlin was lying in, outside of this dream. "Barely. She lured me into a trap."  
I sat down next to him studying his face. "But she didn't kill you."  
"She said it wasn't my destiny to die at her hand."  
I sighed. "She was right. But she almost found a loophole."  
"I am pissed that everyone seems to know my destiny, what I am suppose to do or to be. It sucks."  
I was surprised by his language but then I smiled. Seemed like he finally realized that nobody could judge him here. "I can only imagine. Mine is clouded. Not many people know it. Actually I can only think of one, and he does not count as people."  
He gazed at me. "Who?"  
"Kilgharrah, the Great Dragon. He knows my fate is intertwined with yours and Merlin and I only know which part I want to play, but I can't be sure."  
"Why not? You can see my future? And Merlins too."  
I sighed. "Yes... but I am only a marionette of someone else, you see? An entity, I know exists, but she hasn't made up her mind yet."  
Arthur stared at me, completely taken by surprise. "She?"  
I smiled, a bit sadly. "Yes, it is a she who decides my fate. She made me after her own wishes and uses me to do what she can't."  
"Why? If she can create you... why would she be limited?"  
"Because she lives in a very different realm than us. And to interfere here, she had to create someone she could send her to do her bidding."  
"So you are also not free?"  
My smile became very thin. "I am actually way more trapped than you, believe me." We shared some silence, before I got back to my... let's call it job. "Do you want to see?" I didn't need to specify what I meant, he already knew. Arthur hesitated, before nodding slowly. I grabbed a mirror standing next to me and placed it on the ground before us.

"**Who are you?", screamed Arthur while hanging on the cliff.  
**The one next to me tensed up.  
**"Arthur... It's too dark", moaned Merlin, laying in Gaius chambers, agitated. "Too dark."  
**"He could see me?", Arthur asked and I nodded.**  
Merlin began to mumble some words in the language of magic, repeating them. Gaius was a bit startled. "Merlin...", he said before pulling a bit of his blanket aside, exposing Merlins open palm with a blue-white shimmering sphere in it. "What are you doing?", asked Gaius to himself.  
**"Gaius knows. He is not at least surprised."  
I smiled. "Merlin caught him with his magic the very first moment they meet. Gaius gave him the book. He is watching over him."  
Arthur snorted, but didn't say anything.**  
We could see Arthur again, as the sphere approached him. "Come on then! What are you waiting for? Finish me off!"  
The sphere hovered around him and he finally managed to pull himself up. He put the sword away, gazing at the glowing bowl that continued to rise up, showing him a way to climb the wall. Arthur hesitated and turned his head to look at the flowers he came for.  
"You leave them, Arthur", Merlin moaned.  
The hiss of the spiders split the silence and Arthur could see them, crawling up the wall. **

**"Go. Save yourself. Follow the light!"  
Arthur began to climb the wall, heading towards the flower. The light floated above him. Arthur reached for the flower but couldn't get to it. Moaning with exertion he corrected his stand and finally got one and put it in his belt. The spiders closed in. Arthur tried to continue his climb but didn't get forward until he took of his gloves with his teeth.  
"Faster, go faster. Follow the light!" Merlin was getting more agitated, watching Arthur. Gaius had to hold him down a bit, gazing at the sphere.  
Arthur obeyed that silent order, getting faster in his moves.  
"Move! Climb!"  
The spiders were right on his tail, dozens of them closing in. The light showed him the last passage out, before vanishing in the night. Arthur lost time looking back down, but eventually he crawled out of the hole, immediately drawing his sword. He waited for a moment then began to run back to his horse. Merlin calmed down and the sphere disappeared, allowing Gaius to cool him down again.**

"I had no idea who it was.", Arthur said after the mirror only showed us and the ceiling.  
"I was so surprised. The light was obviously magical, I didn't understand who would sent it."  
"Now you know."  
"Yes... now I know."  
"I would have came to you, but you were riding through the night. Good call, Merlin wouldn't have made it."  
"He still could have died if it wasn't for Gwen. I had no idea my father could be so... indifferent. Letting someone die in pain, only to teach me a lesson. It is cruel."  
"Uther has always been cruel", I said bitterly.  
Arthur looked at me, a bit curious but I stayed silent. "You said we would see this how you saw it, right?"  
That question threw me off, but I nodded.  
"How come you could see me and him at the same time? Overlaying the events like that? You couldn't have been at two places at the same time."  
I was surprised. "I thought you already figured out that with 'How I saw it' did not mean, I saw it with my eyes because I was there. It is she, who sends me that pictures. I do not get them in a dream or see them in a pond. They are just in my head, like they have always been there. And all I have to do is recall them, remembering every detail. The more closer and incident comes, the more clearer the fitting images are in my head. I already have most of your future, but it is blurred, fuzzy, only main events, no details at all."

"But enough to tell me my destiny, if you wanted too."  
"Yes", I agreed.  
He studied my face and sighed. "So, Gaius knows?"  
I smiled. I really liked the old physician. "Yes. He has a little magic of his own. He used it to cure Merlin."  
Arthur was very surprised. "Gaius has magic? Does my father know?"  
"Yes and yes. Gaius was the only one to survive Uthers actions, it is a bit... unclear to me how and why. But the does remember the old ways. And when necessary, just like now, he uses them for good."  
"Father always says that all magic is evil..."  
I shook my head. "No magic is truly evil. Everything can be used for good and bad. It is the intention of the warlock that matters. Not more. A sword can be used to protect or to hurt. And only because its wielder chose to kill with it, the sword is not considered evil, right?"  
He stared at the ground, deep in his own thoughts. I smiled. I was on the right way.

* * *

This chapter is for my two Reviewers! Thank your for your Feedback and help! I immediately corrected the name, so I hope it is alright now. Enjoy!


	5. Lancelot

**Lancelot**

"It has been a while..." I had to whisper, my voice wasn't very strong right know.  
Arthur took a look, only let his gaze wander to notice I was there but that changed quickly. "You... What the hell happened to you?"  
"The same thing that happened to a lot of others." I moaned in pain and sat down quickly. I was dsiplayed in his mind like I was outside of it. In a simple red dress, merely good enough for a maid and stained with blood. My arm bandaged, the sleeve ripped off right beneath the shoulder. My leg had a very unhealthy angle, it was fixed with a few branches. At last I had several cuts and bruises on my face and neck and a part of my right hand was burned. Arthur got up and kneeled down next to my chair. We were in his chambers again. The place he wanted to be when he didn't want to be anywhere else.  
"What... why are you in pain? I thought that wasn't possible in this realm?" He looked like he wanted to touch me, but he pulled back his hand before he could.  
I smiled, visibly strained. "I never actually said that... But you are half right. You wouldn't feel any pain. It is your mind. With all my power I am only an intruder. Your mind does not protect me." I closed my eyes and tried to push the pain away. I opened them in surprise when I felt a soft touch at my shoulder.  
Arthur looked at his hand, irritated like he didn't know why it moved. Then he realised. "I can touch you!"  
I tried to focus on his face. The blood loss was getting more severe and my real body was asleep. "I am hardly able to focus enough to keep us connected. Right now I can't stop you from anything else..."

I yelled in pain when Arthur made up his mind and took me on his arms. He carried me across the room to his bed and layed me down, very gently. Much more gently then I would have thought. He went to his table and returned with the obligatory bowl of water. He put an piece of cloth in and hesitated. I watched him, not showing any emotion. Arthur fought with himself but eventually he would get the cloth out and started to clean and cool my face and neck. He was a bit clumsy and hesitant while doing it but I smiled brightly. He blushed.  
"You are getting better in here."  
"What do you mean?"  
"That bowl of water. I have nothing to show you today so it didn't appear because I wanted it to."  
Arthur took a moment to realize what that meant but eventually he got it. "So I have control over this place? Same like you?"  
I coughed. "Actually way more when you would know how..." I could barely keep it together, the blackness began to close in. "You have to do me a favour...", I whispered. Arthur pulled his hand with the cloth back, getting distrusting again.

"What kind of favour?"  
I gestured him to come closer. I was getting too weak. "I made a mistake coming here tonight... You have to break our connection this time..."  
"You want me to throw water at you?" His tone was disbelieving and I had to grin.  
"No. It works different the other way around... more like when I woke you up in the woods."  
He thought briefly and nodded. "What do I have to do?"  
"Come here... put your hands around my face and close your eyes."  
He followed my orders more quickly than I would have in his position but I would not argue about that. His touch was barely there but I could feel the warmth of his hands. "Visualize our bond. It is like a strong, white rope tying us together... do you see it?" I was in his head, could see it how he saw it. How I saw it last time. His body, standing still on one end and mine across him. And the thick bundle of ropelike strings coming out from my body going into his.  
"Good, very good. Now take your hand and cut through most of it, leave a few." My voice almost sounded a bit hypnotic and he did what I asked. With a flowing move he cut through stopping right before the very last string. I could feel the push back and used the last moments to whisper "Lancelot..." in his ear.

* * *

"We have to talk." It was Arthur who greeted me this time. Unusual but okay.  
"Yes, I believe so."  
He was standing in the middle of the room while I appeared by the door. He used the time I needed to get to the table to watch me.  
"You look a lot better.", he stated without any emotion.  
I smiled. "I got a vision that was strictly for myself this time. And it was actually a vision, not a memory. It showed me something that helped me heal." I was wearing a different dress. I was lumping a bit, moved my arm very slowly and still looked a bit beaten up but I was a complete functional human being again.  
"Did you heal yourself with your magic?"  
I was irritated by this question because I thought I said that before. Maybe I was wrong. "My powers don't work like that. I am not a sorcerer like Merlin. I can't do what he does." I sat down by the table but Arthur remained leaning against his wardrobe, arms folded.  
"Than what can you do? Besides hypnotizing me in my own mind of course."  
I bit my lip. I was hoping he wouldn't have noticed that but here we go. "My powers are limited to mind and soul only. I can do nothing physical. I can't create anything, make magic potions or enchant somebody. I can't even take any influence on their mind unless I am bonded to them. And the only person I am bonded to right now is you."

"Yes, let's talk about that, shall we?" He came closer, obviously angry. "When you showed me last night how to cut our connection I thought 'Great! That might be an option to get rid of her and be in control of me and my memories again!' And I remember that I wanted to completely cut through those strings, completely separate us. But I didn't. You might want to tell me why!" He reached me during his talk and slammed his hands at the table with his last words.  
I tilted my head, thoughtful. "It is not really easy to explain-"  
"Try me!", he snapped.  
I was feeling fond of this dominating site of his, so I quickly continued: "The room where we went together is like a deeper level of your mind. It shows every bond you have to everyone around you. Your relationships with Merlin, your father, the knights..." I paused to see if he was following.  
"But I only saw you and me."  
I nodded. "Our bond is special. To be more precise, we were not exactly in your room of bonds, we were in that one room where our minds are overlapping. This room is where our bond connects us, where it lives. And you were right, if you would've cut through all of it, it would have been over. I would have gone to great lengths to connect us again, but maybe I couldn't even be able is why I used every ounce of power I had left to manipulate you."

"I would have remembered?"  
"Not instantly, you would have dreamed of our meetings again, but those dreams you would have remembered. And anything it told you in it. You maybe wouldn't believed it right away, but eventually you would have known what Merlin is and what he did. Without any grip on your mind I there is nothing I can do."  
Arthur was very silent. "If that place is where our minds are overlapping, does that mean that is the entrance to your mind as well?"  
I felt like I knew Arthur for years, but he managed to surprise me. "I didn't expect you to come to this conclusion, but yeah in fact it is. I will not explain to you where though."  
He glared at me before his expression changed and he looked almost amused. "Fair enough."  
"When you are done, I have a question."  
He looked at me, warily.  
"Why did you take care of me? I was hurt, vulnerable and you still seem to think of me as something to get rid of. So why did you do it? If you would have wanted to make any move that would have been the time."  
He blushed, strongly, and mumbled something I could only hear "Girl... hurt... honour... knight" of.

I had to smile. Even giggle a bit. If you thought about it, of course that would be the reason. Yet I didn't expected it to be. He surprised me quite often.  
"Okay, now this is settled, interested in this nights occasion?"  
His blush began to fade and he cleared his throat, sitting down. "Yes. You whispered something but I couldn't understand it."  
"Lancelot."  
"Lancelot? The new candidate to be a knight?"  
"Yes. What do you know about him?"  
"Not much. He is the fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria. Merlin claims he is good with a sword."  
I nodded. "He is. He faced the very same beast that messed me up to save Merlin. Who would have been dead without him."  
Arthur glared at me, disbelieving. "Seriously? What beast?"  
I sighed. "It will come to Camelot. And you should be very glad to have Lancelot here. Maybe it is time to see for yourself what he can and cannot do."  
Arthur looked a bit through me, lost in his own thoughts.  
"Maybe we should call it a night here. We can continue our talk as soon as it becomes necessary." I got up and stood before Arthur, who looked up to me warily. I smiled, walked around him and before he got the chance to stand up, I grabbed the back of his chair and pulled.

* * *

"And here we are again." I looked around. Some clearance in the wood. I smiled.  
"Why are you smiling?" Arthur was leaning against a tree, not very far from me.  
"Because although you already said you can't track this beast through the air, you actually wish you were out on lookout. And that is another proof they made the right choice."  
He frowned. "Who? What choice?"  
I refused to give an answer, just smiled.  
He sighed deeply. "You are really starting to get on my nerves you know?"  
I had to laugh. "I am starting now? I thought I was already on top of them from the get-go."  
He grinned, not even trying to hide it. Good. Very good. Then his face became more serious.  
"Greenswood."  
I blinked. "What?"  
"The creature. It hit Greenswood, then Willowdale. I saw hundreds of people today who looked very similar messed up like you did. But for you it had already been a few days. So you must hide somewhere around Greenswood."  
"I...", for the first time since I started this, I was not very sure what to say. "Yes. I have. But I moved when the creature attacked." It was a lie, but I surely planned to do so, now that he figured out my current location. He couldn't remember, but I did not survive this long without playing it safe.

"How exactly do you live?"  
"Pardon?"  
He thoroughly studied me, nothing escaped his gaze. "I have already seen you in three different dresses all good enough for a maid at the royal court. Your hair is mostly loose and soft, but your hands are not. You seem like you always had enough food and water and no trouble sleeping. It has been a few weeks since we met and you never were wounded or sick. You give a bunch of mixed signals and I am not sure what to do with that. So I ask frankly: How exactly do you live?"  
I was stunned. And I had no idea how to respond. "I am not sure what to say." Twice in one meeting.  
"How about the truth?"  
I sighed and sat down, leaning against a tree, looking up to him. "You want to know how I live? Fine." My voice hardened. "I have a job. In a tavern in Greenswood."  
His eyes lit up and he slowly got down on my level, focusing on my words. I knew that it was probably pretty stupid to tell him my pattern but I couldn't gain his trust without trusting him. And I got the memory erase as precaution. Hopefully that was enough.  
"I could keep all the money I made as waitress and bartender and spend it on these dresses. I have a few of them, laying in my trunk." He seemed like he wanted to ask a question but I continued before he could do so. "I do not have to pay for a home or food or water. Because I live in a cave."  
"You do what?"  
I smiled at his face. Whatever he expected, it wasn't that.

"I live in a cave in the woods. Its entrance is very well hidden and it is a very deep cave. I have access to an underground stream and firewood all around me that I only have to collect. I made myself a comfortable bed with hay, leaves, moss and feathers some birds loose."  
"But how do eat?"  
"I bought everything I need to cook over an open fire. And for food... well animals are very helpful."  
"You hunt?" His voice was mixed with disbelief and interest.  
I shook my head. "No, not by myself. But I told you that I can influence someone's mind as soon as I have a connection."  
He nodded, suddenly suspicious again.  
I sighed in my head. Men. "It is a lot easier to get this connection to animals then to humans. They see me and are instantly afraid. And that is all I need. I can get in their heads and make them trust me."  
"And then you kill them?" He was shocked and horrified, even for someone who hunts regularly it seemed wrong to make something trust you only to kill it.  
"No! No, of course not! Is that what you think of me?" I stared him down, waiting for an honest answer.  
"No... but I still do not know you very well. I don't know who you are, what you are up to and what exactly it is you want. So I am suspicious."  
Ouch. That was in honest answer. I sighed.

"I have a connection to a bunch of animals. Mainly rabbits and squirrels. They bring me nuts, berries, stuff like that. And I managed to gain the trust of a free living eagle I took care of when I found him hurt. Our bond keeps him in the area which I think is a bit unusual for his kind but I am very grateful. Summer hunts for me. He brings me rabbits, chicken and sometime he even leads me to a small deer he killed and we share the meat. I love him very much."  
Arthurs gaze burned into my eyes and I suddenly get a bit embarrassed. I never told anyone how I lived why would I?  
"So, let me get this right: You live in a cave in the woods, have a job so you can afford clothes but actually the animals of the woods take care of you. Especially an eagle you named Summer, who hunts for you and brings you meat."  
"Yeah, sounds about right." I could still feel his look.  
"You are the strangest person I ever met", he stated suddenly almost sounding impressed.  
"Is that a good thing?"  
"I don't know yet."  
I had no idea what to make out of this entire conversation, but I knew I felt uncomfortable so I quickly changed topics.

"How come you are so interested in that? I would have bet you would interrogate me about information on the creature, what it is, how to find it and so on."  
"Would you have told me if I did?"  
I shook my head.  
"See. Why bother then?"  
I glanced at him. "You give up much faster than I thought you would."  
He looked angry. "I am not giving up! I just know better than to fight a match I cannot win! At least in that case."  
I remained silent. "But there is something that bothers me. You are obviously able to influence animals. Yet this creature hurt you pretty bad. Why didn't you stop it?"  
I pulled a face and tucked some hair behind my ear. "Let me answer that question on a later occasion. I promise I won't forget it."  
It took a while, but eventually he nodded. I got up before he could, offering my hand to help him. He stared at it thoughtfully, but then he took it. It was a symbolical move but I appreciated it. And I used it to pull him up with much more strength than necessary, causing him to stumble right through my body and fall. I had to giggle again. That was always funny.

* * *

Although we always met at night, it was only the second time it was dark. And just like the first time it happened Arthurs body was also here.  
"What happened?" He stood up from his body, searching for his sword. And he found and drew it. He turned around, searching for the griffin when he noticed me. He looked at me, than at the sword in his hand, than at me again.  
"What is going on?"  
I came closer, but out of distance for his sword. I had actually no idea if he could and would hurt me, but I was not taking any chances.  
"This meeting is different", I told him. "We are not in your mind. I used my power to pull your spirit out of your body while you are unconscious. This is the real world, so you have your sword. You are here because your body is here and I am here because you are here."  
"Why?"  
"Because we are able to actually see for ourselves what happens right when it happens. That opportunity won't be there very often and I plan to use it." For a moment we just stood there until I raised my hand. "Look."

**Merlin and Lancelot approached us, Lancelot in full armour. They saw the knights first who were laying around but then Merlin discovered Arthurs body and quickly moved towards him. He got down, Lancelot right beside him.  
"Well?", he asked.  
"He's alive", Merlin stated, clearly relieved. The hiss of the griffin made them stand up, trying to discover it. The hiss repeated itself and Merlin got down again, almost like he wanted to protect Arthurs body. The creature approached them towards the fog and Merlin got up. Lancelot has been heading towards the horse and now he came and took a stand between the two of them. He had a very long lance, like the ones used in tournaments. And just like a tournament Lancelot and the griffin were facing each other, Merlin at the side of the road.  
**Arthur and I were standing next to Merlin, I had to grab his arm to hold him back.  
"Look!", I whispered, "Just look. There is nothing you can do, your body is unconscious!"  
He glared at me angrily but my grip tighten and I gave him a warning look.  
**The griffin screamed and Lancelot closed his visor.  
"Okay Merlin it's now or never", Merlin said to himself and took a step forward. He said the magic words but nothing happened. Lancelot came closer. He said them again, another fail. Lancelot rode past him and he shouted them after them. The creature began to fly and Lancelot got closer and closer. Merlin said the words a fourth time, almost whispering the eyes fixated on Lancelot. And it worked. With the sound of electric power if anyone knew what that was, Lancelot's lance lit up in blue flames. The griffin came directly forward, impossible for the fake knight to miss. He stroke it right to the chest, causing the griffin to overturn and crash to the ground. Merlin laughed out loud, relieved and amazed. Lancelot turned the horse around and came back, the lance normal on the ground. **

I grinned and looked at Arthur who's eyes were extremely big, looking between Merlin and Lancelot.  
"Time for you to wake up", I grinned and pushed him. I could see his expression change when he fell back in his body and smiled at his annoyed look he gave me just before I dissolved.

* * *

"I think that was the first time you were ever seen strongly against your father in an argument." It was the aftermath, things returned to normal and I appeared in his chambers.  
"He was wrong.", said Arthur staring out of the window.  
I stood next to him. "Even with everything you know?"  
He glimpsed at me and nodded. "I remember Gaius saying only magic could defeat the creature. Merlins magic that he cast on the lance Lancelot was bearing. But I was still right about him. He served with honour and he fights like a knight. I need men like him."  
I noticed that he didn't say Camelot needs but I need. Another indication he didn't hide his true thoughts from me anymore. "He still lied."  
"Yes, but only so he could serve! Only noblemen can be knights so that is what he became to do his duty!" Arthur got loud and turned towards me. He stopped his attempt to say more when he saw the approving smile on my face.  
"You really feel strongly about this. You truly think that code is wrong." It was a statement, not a question. He just stared me down and my smile deepened. "One day, you will have your own knights. And most of them will be men like Lancelot. Who will also be your knight, by the way."

He looked positively surprised.  
"May I ask what your current thoughts on the 'All magic is evil' topic is?"  
"Why?"  
I shrugged. "Merlin just saved all of you. With magic."  
"From a magical monster", Arthur pointed out and I bit my lip.  
"Then what about me? You have a pretty good idea now of what I can and cannot do. What do you think about me?"  
His look got so intense I had to avoid it.  
"I do not think you are evil. You said you only need a simple thought of instinct like fear associated to your face to get into someone's head. With that power you could simply march into Camelot and get control over my father as soon as he sees you as a threat, right?"  
I hesitated, but nodded.  
"But you didn't do that. And I can think of only two reasons for that." He turned his whole body towards me and came closer, clearly invading my personal space. He bent down and caught my eyes. I blushed, strongly. Hey, I was only a girl and I had never been this close to a man. And Arthur was a good looking man.  
"You aren't doing it because your power is too limited to control everyone you would need to rule, like my father, Gaius and myself for example or..." He came even closer putting a finger under my chin so I couldn't avoid his gaze.  
"You do not want to rule." His eyes were jumping between mine, looking for an unsaid answer behind my eyes. I was extremely insecure, already regretting asking and I just couldn't take his closeness. I shoved him, hard, and closed my eyes. I did not want to see his changing expression when the room faded away.

* * *

So many feedback! Thanks a lot guys, I just squeaked a little when I saw there were 8 reviews. For that, and to apologize that I am a little late is an extra long chapter. Maybe it will clear up a few questions, maybe it will create new ones. I am really glad you are all on this journey towards the answers with me. Enjoy!


	6. A Remedy to Cure all Ills

**A Remedy to Cure all Ills**

„How is Morgana?" For some reason I expected us to be in her chambers, just like when Merlin was sick. But that was not the case.  
"She is still out of order, Gaius says her body has a complete shut-down." He was standing by the window, watching the blue sky.  
"Gaius is right. Something infected her brain." I was standing at his bedside, leaning against one pillar.  
"Yes, but he has no idea what!" Arthur turned around and started pacing.  
"You're making me anxious." I couldn't repress that comment and he immediately stopped, giving me an annoyed look.  
"Merlin is driving me crazy."  
"He is worried. So are you." Arthur mumbled something under his breath and ran his fingers through his hair.  
"What do you think of Edwin Muirden?"

He looked at me. "Who?"  
"The physician you met in the courtyard today. The one who claims he has-"  
"A remedy to cure all ills... Yes I remember him. What about him?"  
I tilted my head. "You should already have figured out that every time I visit you... something happens."  
"Like the sickness or magical attacks, yes, I've noticed. Is this why you came? Because of him?"  
I nodded. Arthur frowned. "What is about him? He didn't seem very dangerous."  
I shrugged. "I am actually not sure how much you actually noticed on your own. This episode involves mainly Gaius and Merlin. Maybe I have a bit more to show you this time."  
He opened his mouth but closed it again. Then he folded his arms and shook his head. I grinned a bit. It was a bit more obvious what was going on behind his forehead to me now. I came closer, grinning. "Ready?"  
"Ready for-" But I already threw the water in his face.

* * *

"I hear Lady Morgana is feeling better?"  
Arthur was sitting in his armchair, looking up when I appeared at the window. "Yes. Muirden, he cured her." He was talking slow, hesitant, like he was not sure what to say.  
"Yet you do not seem to be very fond of him." I sat on table, legs in the air, close to Arthur.  
"I was. Until I found myself here again and remembered your words. Now I am... wary."  
"And you should be. Do you want to see how he cured her?" I had a bowl of water in lap and Arthur got up, a bit hesitantly but he came close enough to see the surface.

**Muirden had sent everybody out, being alone with Morgana. He had tweezers and some cloth ready in his hands when he bowed over her and tilted her head. Guinevere came in, while he was gesturing over Morganas head. He noticed her company and sent her out to get some water. Gwen did as told and he turned to the bed again. He continued his gestures over Morganas face, whispering some magic words. When he got up he held a small insect with the tweezers which wriggled in his grip. He used the cloth to catch the blood now leaving Morganas ear where the beetle came out. He put it in a small wooden box which inside was not visible from our angle. Then he closed the box. **

"He used magic to get a bug out of her head?" It sounded like a question and Arthur lifted his head to look at me. I blushed a bit, he came pretty close to see inside the bowl and leaned with his hands left and right to my body. He probably did not even notice he was doing it, but I surely did.  
"A bug he planted there, yes." Our heads almost touched when I nodded and now he seemed to realize our position. He quickly moved back, putting his chair between us. I decided not to say anything.  
"Now father offered him to stay... that is not good."  
"And he saw Merlin using magic."  
"What? How could he be so stupid?"  
I had to laugh. It was the first time that Arthur sounded with me just like in my visions. And of course doing so he would refer to Merlin. Arthur was irritated by my laugh but didn't say anything.  
"Merlin is lonely. He has this great power he is not allowed to use or he must fear death. Now is there this new guy, with magic of his own, someone just like him. Merlin wants to trust someone."

Arthur got quiet. I waited for him to say something. Eventually he did, but not what I expected.  
"I hate that I can't do anything. And that I have to take your word for the truth. I have no way of knowing if anything you say or show me is the truth. Sure, it lines up with everything I remember, but you taught me that I can't be so sure in that department either. I get tossed around between you, Merlin and other danger with magic powers, like Muirden or that Nimueh. And I can't do a damn thing. Without you, I wouldn't even know!" He got louder during his speech, almost screaming the last sentence. His breath was heavy and he stared at me with blue fire in his eyes.  
"I am-"  
"No! Do not say you are sorry because you're not! You are doing what you think is right, even though it will drive me crazy." I was unsure how serious his statement was so I simply remained silent, waiting for him to cool down.  
When that seemed to be the case I asked: "Do you still want me to stop?"  
He sat down, looking tired. "What?"  
"Do you still want to get rid of me? The memory erase and power games in here aside, do you want me to stop so you wouldn't know any more than what you actually hear and see?"  
He stared at me in growing silence. Then, in a tiny whisper: "I don't know."  
I nodded and threw the bowl at him.

* * *

"I am really quite fond of that coat."  
Arthur turned around, he wore the object of my desire. He was pacing through the room with long, slow steps.  
"What am I suppose to do?", he suddenly asked.  
I blinked. "I'm sorry?" "If I allow this to simply play out, Muirden will become the new court physician. Without anyone knowing who he is and what he wants."  
"Gaius knows", I stated and he glared at me.  
"He does?"  
I nodded. "Gaius found out that he already met Muirden. When he was a little kid."  
Arthur sat down on his chair. "Muirden lived here?"  
"Until his parents died in the flames Uther used to purge the town."  
"His scars...", Arthur muttered, looking a bit horrified.  
"Yes. He tried to save his parents who had magic."  
"So he came here for revenge? On my father for burning his parents?" He considered my silence as agreeing. "Then I can't even blame him."  
I shrugged. "According to Gaius his parents were not good people. With dark magic. But I actually can't see the past. All I know about the things that happened is back then because someone in my visions of the future talked about the past."  
"Then why is he not interfering?"  
"What do you think?"

Arthur thought about it and when his face became cold I knew he found the right reason. "Because Muirden threatened Merlin."  
I gave him a sad smile. "He gave Gaius a choice. Merlin or the king."  
Arthur ran his fingers through his hair, his gaze looking through me. "And what will he do?"  
I was silent. He repeated himself more pressing. I continued with my emotionless smile, shrugging lightly. His angry sigh filled the silence that build up.  
"You won't tell me. Of course you won't. Then what would you do in my place?"  
I was unsure if he was just trying to gain more info or if he was really interested in my advice. I decided to play it save. "The only thing you can do. Let it all play out." He wanted to interrupt me but I quickly continued: "I do not tell you all of this so you can interfere. You are not meant to interfere. You are actually not even meant to know. But she was not okay with that."

"Your strange entity."  
I nodded. "In my head I call her 'The Editor'."  
Arthur frowned. "Why?"  
"Because she has influence through me. She is slightly changing the outcome without disrupting the product. Like an editor."  
Arthur tilted his head understandingly.  
"And that is also a reason why you can't interfere. She has the script and uses me to change a few things. But if I let you change a whole chapter, the complete story plays out differently. Do you understand?" He was still a bit grumpy but nodded. I took a breath.  
"Good. Then lets end the night here so you can see how it all plays out."  
"Do you always have to use water? Or shove me?"  
I was taking a step towards him and shrugged. "I have to give your body some kind of shock. Water, falling or pain are the most reliable to do the trick."  
Arthur sighed. "Fine. What about a warning then?"  
"Do you really think a warning would be good, if you need a shock?" I didn't let him answer and used a needle I pulled from my hair to suddenly stab him in the arm. His loud "Ouch!" made me grin.

* * *

"You see? Everything played out fine." Arthur was only wearing trousers and a shirt, not even boots. I tried not to be irritated by that.  
"Yes, I suppose it did. Although I am not sure how, as always. I was trying to find Edwin but I couldn't. When I returned my father was getting better and Gaius was there explaining Muirden has been behind everything."  
"Not a lot of details, hm? Do you want to know more?" I gestured towards the large mirror standing beside his bed. Arthur turned around and leaned against the table while I made myself comfortable on his bed.

**Muirden returned to his chambers after dealing with Uther. Gaius voice made him turn around.  
"I will not allow you to kill Uther."  
"You never had a problem letting people die before", Muirden answered calmly.  
"Your parents were practicing dark magic. Just like you." Gaius came closer.  
"And how do you propose to stop me?" Gaius lifted his arm and said some magic words, but nothing happened.  
"Hm, I think you meant..." Muirden corrected him and Gaius flew back against a pillar. "You've forgotten everything, Gaius. Getting to old. I have a cure though." He used his magic again and a ring of flames appeared around Gaius, holding and threatening him. **

Arthur flinched a tiny bit as he saw **himself, approaching Merlin and sending him after Muirden. Gaius stood up, leaning against the pillar, still trapped by the fire. The door opened and Merlin appeared. He took a second to understand the situation and turned to Muirden.  
"What are you doing?"  
"He was trying to kill the king, I couldn't let him", Gaius answered.  
"I can rule the kingdom now. With you at my side we could be all powerful", Muirden offered.  
"Release him!", Merlin demanded.  
"Your loss Merlin." Muirden looked at an axe on the wall, making it fly towards his enemy. Merlin leaned back, his eyes turned gold and the axe stopped, floating in midair while Muirden was still trying to kill Merlin with it. He even used the magic language but with the second flash of Merlins eyes, the axe turned back hitting Muirden right in the chest, who had no chance to even react. The fire around Gaius vanished.  
"Are you alright?", Merlin asked a bit tense.  
"Yes... thank you Merlin", Gaius answered, looking very stressed. **

I made a gesture towards the mirror and fast forwarding we saw how **Merlin took the wooden box, Gaius explaining what those insects were and both next to Uthers bed unsure how to get the beetle out. Merlin layed his hands on Uthers ears and whispered something. When he pulled back he showed Gaius the magic insect in his palm and both seemed very relieved.**

The mirror cleared up and I looked at Arthur, still staring at the surface.  
"How did he do that?"  
I frowned. "Do what?"  
Arthur turned to me gesturing. "Muirden tried to kill him, he almost did with this axe but Merlin overcame him. Without saying a word, just like that!"  
I smiled. "There are the ones who say Merlin is the greatest warlock to ever walk the earth."  
Arthur almost gulped. "Merlin? This Merlin, our Merlin, seriously?"  
I grinned. "He has incredible power. And it will only grow with time."  
Arthur started pacing again, from his bed towards the table to his wardrobe and back. "What if Merlin loses control over this power?"  
"That is very unlikely. And even if. Every inch of his body is programmed to protect the ones close to him. Gaius, Gwen... and you."

"Me?" He stopped.  
"Of course you. Your destiny is inseparable intertwined with his. And he knows that. Believe me, Merlin will become your closest friend and ally. There will be legends over the two of you."  
"Seriously?" His face was priceless. A mix of surprise, disbelieving and scepticism.  
I grinned. Very bright. "You'll see. But until then... let's call it a night, shall we?" I got up from the bed and approached him. He took a few steps back and lifted his arm.  
"Hey, one moment. You won't stab me again, will you?"  
"Oh, did that hurt?"  
"Yes!" He looked irritated and my grin got even brighter. That did not happen quite a while. Seemed like his desire to lie was a lot greater when it came to defend his manhood.  
"Don't worry. I will mix it up a little, you will never know what it's going to be." And I ended the connection before he could answer.

* * *

A bit shorter this time, but I can already promise you will love the next one!


	7. The Gates to Avalon

**The Gates to Avalon**

"Sophia is very pretty, isn't she?" I was kind of pleased when I noticed we were still in his chambers. I was afraid we would be in the ones next door, which would have been quite embarrassing, for him and for me.  
"She is beautiful. " Arthur seemed distracted, he stared at the door like she could come in at any time.  
And for some reason, I really did not like that. "Beware of her", I said sharply causing him to turn around, frowning.  
"Why? Are you here because of her?"  
"She is not what she seems.", I pointed out and Arthur folded his arms.  
"Why bother warning me? Even though I can't imagine what is suppose to be dangerous about her, I will be powerless and Merlin is going to save me in some big dramatic turn of events, am I right?"  
Wow. That came out grumpy. If he were a woman I would have gone cliché and asked if he had his period. Instead I focused on something else. "He does not need a big turn of events to save your ass." I folded my arms. I was pissed. Maybe I got my period.  
"What is that suppose to mean?" He came closer, staring daringly down to me. I gave him a mocking grin and made a mirror appear. We were standing next to each other, our folded arms almost touched.

W**e were seeing the middle of the fight Arthur had this morning to save Sophia. He just broke a man's nose with his elbow, who then fell to the ground. Arthur turned around to face another one of the group. While he was focused on that fight, Merlin stood at the side, watching every move. That is why he saw the man get up again, ready to strike Arthur down. Merlin looked frantically for an opportunity to stop him and he found it in a thick branch, hanging just above the man's head. Two words and a golden flash later that branch cracked and fell down, knocking him out. Arthur killed the one attacking him and turned to the last. The man fled in the woods and the fight was over. **

"Struck of luck my ass", I mumbled when the mirror cleared up.  
Arthur stared at the surface like he did almost every time, like his eyes didn't believe what they just saw.  
"Face it. Merlin is your very own guardian angel. And you just give him crap."  
Arthur gave me a death glare and turned his back on me. "Yeah? Well, how am I suppose to know?"  
I moaned. "Are you still not over that topic?" We glared at each other, both pissed for more or less known reasons. "All I say is that you should take Morgana seriously", I explained, already getting ready to end the connection.  
"Morgana? What does she have to do with it?"  
"You'll see. Have fun with your date." That one came out sarcastic again and I ended the meeting. I had to figure out why I was so angry.

* * *

"I told you to take Morgana seriously. Instead you were being a ass. Congratulations."  
Arthur turned to me. We were still in his chambers, thank God, and I figured out why I was so pissed before. And I didn't like what I found out. Arthur came closer and closer, causing me to take a step back.  
"Yes, I suppose I was. And that was, because I had no other explanation, than for her to be jealous. But you told me, that there is actually something to her, which raised a different question." He had a wide grin on his face, a grin I would much like to punch away. "You are always warning me about different threats. And yet there is someone, as pretty as Sophia and I obviously like her. And suddenly you are all grumpy."  
I hit the wall and had to stop. He put his hands left and right to my head, his blue eyes piercing through mine.  
"So... why exactly are you... jealous?" He tasted the word like a sweet strawberry, melting on his tongue. Oh, I wanted to smack him so badly.  
"I am not jealous!" An obvious lie. "I'm just annoyed by the fact that you 'like' her, but you have no idea who or what she is. But that is not important, just put on a pretty face and Arthur Pendragon will come to the rescue." I flashed up to him with anger and the confident grin on his face vanished slowly as he studied my face. Staring longer and longer at my lips. After I while I couldn't take it anymore and pushed him. Way harder than I intended to, causing him to fall and end our connection. Well, maybe that was not a bad thing.

* * *

When I tried to establish our connection, I barely made it in. His whole mind was enchanted, the walls of Sophias spell were thick and tight. When I managed to materialize next to Arthur, I was already strained and I moaned in frustration as soon as I looked at him. His eyes were burning red and he stared into the distance. Great. I had to do this another way.

"Ugh, my head hurts." I was standing in a very well known darkness. There was nothing but black around me. Except for Arthur, whose hand I was holding, and he was the one who talked. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around.  
"Where the hell am I?" He didn't seem to notice me, so I slightly squeezed his hand. His head turned around so fast I almost thought it would break. "Cassandra? Cassie?"  
I was bummed for a second. I believed that was the very first time he said my name. "Yes, I am here." It seemed like he couldn't see me and I corrected that. As soon as I was there, he tried to free his hand but my grip hardened.  
"Not yet. You would be sucked back."  
"Back? Back where?"  
"Back to your mind. Because welcome, this is mine."  
"This is your mind? All that darkness?"  
I sighed. "Yes."  
"I thought your mind would look like the place you wanted to be the most."  
"Yeah, that is right. But I also told you, that you couldn't see anything in your mind that you haven't already seen with your body. And apparently, I never set foot into the place I want to be the most." I sighed again.  
"That is possible?"  
"Obviously. And no, I have no idea what and where this place is suppose to be. I can't see anything. If it is inside or outside, how big it is or anything. And it never changes. This is my mind, every time I visit."  
Arthur studied me and he must have seen the exhaustion on my face, his voice was a lot softer when he asked: "And what are we doing here?"  
"I actually did not want to bring you exactly here, give me a minute."

I concentrated and left my mind. I felt how Arthur got pulled back but I overcame that and suddenly we were standing inside my home. I let go of his hand and sat down next to my body.  
"Where... is this your home?" Arthur looked around. It was a pretty big room, similar to Arthurs own chambers. In a corner not far away a small fire burned the wood I fed it with right before I went to bed. My small trunk was standing at the wall, closed. A badly crafted table was standing on the other wall, a few books on it. My bed dominated the room, it was pretty big and my body was lying on it, sleeping peacefully. Maybe it should have been strange, seeing myself light that, but I was used to it. Moonlight lit up the room because I pulled the curtain of roots and ivy aside before. A quiet burble of the near stream came from the dark hole across the entrance were the cave continued to go on. Summer was sitting on a pole near the entrance, also sleeping.

I was somehow nervous when I watched Arthur who looked at everything.  
"There is a second room a bit more inside. I got all my food and the other stuff there, I mainly cook there." I just wanted to say anything because I wasn't sure I could bear the silence anymore.  
"Have you always lived like this?" Arthur was standing by the entrance now, curiously watching Summer.  
"Not always, but very long. My parents and I... didn't really get along."  
He turned around but the look on my face prevented him from saying anything. Instead he turned to my body, and very gently tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. I shivered. I could feel his touch what he seemed to notice.  
"You can feel it?" Yup, he noticed.  
"Yes. I am the powerhouse of our connection. That is why you can touch my body. And why I can feel your touch." I got quieter while I talked and looked to the ground. Arthur looked at me thoughtfully but changed the topic.  
"So you didn't move?"  
I needed a moment to know what he was referring to, but then I shook my head. "Not yet. This place is pretty ideal for everything I need. I would really like to stay here."  
He acknowledged my answer with a slight nod. "Why are we here? I thought you would keep your distance. Isn't it dangerous for you to show me all this?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. I guess I have to rely on my magic. And on your good will. But I had to bring you here. We couldn't talk in your mind."  
"Why not?", Arthur interrupted me.  
"Because you are completely enchanted. I barely managed it to pull your soul out and bring it with me."  
"My soul?" He sounded surprised.  
"Yes, your soul, not your spirit. You can imagine it as different levels. To enchant the body is extremely easy, one wave and you learn how to fly. To enchant the mind is just slightly more difficult. But magic that messes with your soul? Very difficult. Very hard to learn. The soul is the very essence of a person. Almost nothing can actually touch and/or harm it."  
"And because my mind was out of order you pulled my soul out of my body? Isn't that dangerous?"  
I was very serious. "Yes. It can be. I used my powers to go to your mind, extract your soul and pull it through my mind out here. If I wanted to really harm you, there are quite a few things I could do now, each with disastrous consequences, for you and for me. So let's not do that, okay?" I smiled. He was concerned but I actually admired his ability to get his priorities in order and we moved on.

"You say my mind is enchanted? Shouldn't I know about that?"  
"I don't actually know. It is the first time something like that happened. But you can be very sure about it. It was really creepy."  
"Creepy?"  
I nodded and got up. "Let me show you how your mind looks like right now." I stepped towards him and noticed gladly that I couldn't see any sign of him wanting to flinch or something like that. I grabbed his hand again and closed my eyes. Then I send him a bunch of images, the pink underline of his mind, the thick walls that made it a maze and a prison and at last a picture of him, with burning red eyes. He flinched, hard, taking a few steps back and looked at me, horrified.  
"That is me?"  
I nodded. "Your body also has red eyes. Sometimes at least."  
Arthur ran a hand through his face. "I can barely remember. I was with Sophia and she started to say something I didn't understand. And then everything gets blurry."  
"You will remember it better once the spell is lifted. But for now I can tell you, that she took control over your heart. You will do anything she asks. And she asked for you to go to Uther and ask permission to marry her."  
"What?!" Arthur came closer again. "I do not want to marry her! Have... a little fun maybe, but nothing permanent!"  
I grinned. "Completely honourable intentions, right?"  
He mumbled something that sounded a lot like "Shut up." He sighed and sat on my bed, carefully watching that he didn't disturbed my sleeping body.

"If she wants to rule over Camelot that is the wrong way. My father would never allow this, even if I asked."  
"You are right, but that is not what she wants. She knows Uther won't allow it."  
"Then what is her angle?"  
"She will convince you to elope with her. You will follow wherever she goes, do whatever she says. That is what she wants. Everyone else will think you will live somewhere with her."  
Arthur stared at me for quite a while before he said: "That doesn't make any sense. I will be powerless, can't offer her anything."  
"Actually you can. A lot. But you still think that Sophia is human. With human needs and wishes."  
Arthur got pale. "She is not human?"  
I shook my head. "She and her father were cast out of their people. The Sidhe of Avalon."  
He continued to stare. "I have never heard of them.", he finally stated.  
"Some people think Avalon is the land of the dead. But that is not important. Important is, that Sophia wants back in. And the only way to accomplish that, is to sacrifice the heart and soul of a mortal prince."  
Surprisingly, Arthur remained silent and I sat down on the floor before him. He looked down to me.  
"She will kill me. If my soul is now separate from my body, can't you keep it this way? To thwart her plans?"  
I smiled. "She surely plans to kill you, yes. And I am afraid I do not have the strength to keep your soul, besides the fact that your body isn't able to function without it. But you should have more faith in your guardian angel."

"Merlin? He was helping me to meet her. He even ended up in the stocks because of that."  
I grinned. "Twice, I know. But he also has help. Gaius got suspicious after Morgana told him about her dream and he recognized the runes on the staff Sophia and Aulfric have. While we are talking right now the two of them have figured out what they are dealing with. Merlin followed the father and saw the Sidhe. They already know what Sophia is up to."  
Arthur seemed a bit relieved but frowned nonetheless. "Morganas dream?"  
I sighed and let my head rest on my hand. "That is a very different topic. Something we better talk later about. Instead I will answer another question."  
He raised an eyebrow.  
"You asked me once why I didn't stop the griffin from hurting me. Remember?"  
He nodded. "You say you would come back to it."  
"And given the circumstances I will do now. Your mind was influenced with magic and I had to go to great lengths to get you here. But the griffin was a magical creature. His mind was full with magic, build with it. The answer why I couldn't influence him is actually very simple. I am not strong enough. I could never take over a mind of a creature like that. Animals are easy, humans too. But only normal humans. Would I try what I do with you with Merlin..." I shook my head and shrugged. "Maybe I would get in, but I could never keep the control. He would have it and he could probably kick me out whenever he wants. And there wouldn't be any messing with his memory."  
"Merlin is stronger than you?"  
I stared at him. "Didn't you listen last time? Greatest warlock to ever walk the earth? I could do nothing Merlin doesn't want me to. He is far more powerful than me. Even though his magic is different than mine. He can also be enchanted and he probably can't do what I do, but if I would let him in... I would be at his mercy."

Which was a pretty terrifying thought to be honest. Sure, Merlin was a sweet and gentle man, but I had no idea what he would think of me messing with Arthur. He had more than one reason to completely disapprove. And if he ever found out, he could probably shield Arthur from me. So I have to be very careful. Arthur looked like he read my mind, lost in his own thoughts.  
"Not that I want to disturb you, but I should sent you back. I am pretty tired."  
He got ripped from his thoughts and followed me with his eyes when I got up.  
"How can you be tired? You are sleeping."  
I smiled. "I just said it was very difficult to get you here. And I have to shield you from the pull back to your body the entire time. It is actually pretty exhausting. I will probably sleep all day to regain my strength."  
Arthur got up. Since I sat right before him, we were very close. Once again. "This is challenging for you?"  
I smiled at him. "Surprised?"  
He tilted his head. "A bit, yes. All of this is costing you quite a lot and I have no idea what exactly it is you are gaining. It doesn't fit the pattern."  
I didn't know if I should be flattered or offended. "You should already know that I am not the bad guy in this story." That came out a bit more hurt than I intended. Arthur hesitated, but then he lifted his hand and touched my cheek.  
"I know that. Really, I do."  
I smiled and he smiled back. It wasn't the first time he smiled or grinned in my company but it was different this time. How we were standing, his hand still on my face, it was kind of intimate. And I enjoyed his warm palm on my face. More than I hoped he could see.  
Get ready. I do not exactly have to do something this time, I will just give up my spiritual grip on your soul. You won't notice it, but you will be pulled back with quite a force."  
He seemed nervous, but nodded. "I'm ready."  
I smiled again and closed my eyes. When I opened them, he and his gentle touch were gone.

* * *

I was standing in the water. I couldn't really feel how wet it was, since I was barely there. I used the fact that my body was sleeping all day to hover behind Arthurs shoulder, watching over his soul. And now was the moment. As soon as Sophia kissed him and his eyes closed, I used my powers to pull as hard as I could. His soul was struggling, being torn between his body that slowly sank into the water and me, standing next to it. I played with this idea since last night where he asked if I could hold on to his soul so it wouldn't be sacrificed. Not that I didn't have enough faith that Merlin would make it in time, but save was save. I finally won over his body's hold, Sophia's hold and Arthurs image materialized next to me.  
"What... what is going on?"  
"I came as a failsafe", I answered, looking out for Merlin at the edge of the woods.  
Arthur looked around frantically, noticing every detail from **Sophia, standing with her hand raised, her father at the edge of the lake, still shouting, and his body, barely visible through the dirty water.  
**"Just watch.", I said, "There is Merlin." I pointed at him as he appeared behind Aulfric and we watched how everything played out together.

**Merlin was even faster to register what was going on, and he acted in a matter of seconds. He spotted Sophia's staff, laying on the ground next to her father, and with a few words it flew towards Merlin, unnoticed by everyone else. Merlin caught it and turned its top towards Aulfric who turned around just in time for Merlin to use his magic again and strike him down with a blue lightning. He burst into hundreds of pieces and Sophias high pitched "Father!" cut through the air. She turned around, trying to get out of the lake but Merlin shot her with a second lightning, before she could even make two steps. She exploded the same way, making a repeated "No!" the last words anyone heard of her. Merlin took off his jacket and raced into the lake, yelling "Arthur!" three times before he went diving down to look for him. The first time he came up without him, looking around and going back under. After a felt hour he finally came up again, lifting Arthurs armour-heavy body towards the shore. **

"I told you he would make it." We were standing at the shore now, I took Arthurs arm and pulled him outside the water just when Merlin came in.  
"What would have happened if he didn't?" Arthur looked a bit shocked, his gaze glued at his own body, laying pale and wet in Merlins arms.  
"Then I would have tried to find that moment in time where Sophias ritual would have failed, but were you were still alive. And with a bit of luck I would have been able to give Merlin just enough time to save you after all. If I had failed… you would have died. But since you were not in your body, you at least wouldn't have felt it. And Sophia wouldn't have gotten what she wanted either, because I claimed your soul before the Sidhe could."  
Now he looked at me. "You did?"  
I shrugged. "You are here with me, aren't you? I would have helped you with your transition. But I knew Merlin would come in time." Said person had just laid Arthur on the ground, checking his breathing.  
"Come with me." I took Arthurs hand and kneeled next to his body, pulling him down with me. He followed without resisting. I touched the wet forehead of Arthurs body and closed my eyes.

When I opened them, we were back inside his mind, standing in... my cave? What?  
"You brought us to your place? Why?", Arthur asked and looked around.  
He flinched when he met my intense gaze. "No, I brought us to your mind. Which is currently looking like my home. Care to explain?"  
He folded his arms in a defensive position. "I don't know why we are here. It is not like I really have any control over any of this."  
I studied him and he didn't avoid to meet my eyes. I decided to think about his reasons for wanting to be at my place later and focused on the topic.  
"And again, bad magic threatened you and good magic saved you.", I stated, relaxing a little and sat down on my trunk.  
"Merlin got hit by this lightning, I saw it. Aulfric threw it at him. Why isn't he... exploded?"  
"When I remember correctly, normal people do not explode but simply die. But Merlin is not normal, is he?" I blinked and smiled. "Gaius found him after Morgana saw you leave with Sophia. He send Merlin after you, although Merlin was a bit attacked. But he recovered very fast.", I continued to explain.  
"And what happens now?" Arthur made himself comfortable on my bed and leaned against the wall.  
"As far as I know, you will wake up at home, not able to explain to yourself how any of this happened and what you were thinking. Merlin will tell you that he dragged you back to Camelot."  
Arthur started laughing. "Yeah right. Magic or no magic, Merlin couldn't beat me in a fight."  
I grinned. "Nope. But he doesn't have to, right? And if he only wanted to beat you, he would never let himself get involved in a 'fight'."

Arthurs laughter faded, I silenced that little voice inside that said 'Too bad' and looked at him.  
"No, I guess he wouldn't. But if I can take your word for it, Merlin is not and will never be my enemy. Right?"  
I nodded, slowly. "Right. Does that mean you wouldn't tell Uther about him, if I would let you keep your memories now?"  
He instantly sat a little straighter. "If I said no, will you let me keep them?" He looked hopefully, but I shook my head.  
"No. Too much of a risk. But it is still nice to know." We sat there in silence until Arthur sighed.  
"What will my father say about this?"  
I had to suppress my grin. "Nothing. Merlin will cover you and be in the stocks a third time. Appreciate it."  
Arthur started laughing again, clearly relieved and even a bit hysterical. I joined in and noticed very satisfied that he finally felt free to simply act like he wanted to.

* * *

I am so sorry I am late! To apologize, a chapter I originally planned to be much shorter, but hey. The story does what it wants. There are a few hints on something in here that I never planned to do. Maybe you will spot them!


	8. The Beginning of the End

**The Beginning of the End**

"I have to ask you a question.", Arthur said, as soon as I appeared. He turned his head towards me, when I stepped next to his window.  
"A question that needs a warning?" I was equally disappointed and relieved when I saw that we weren't in my cave anymore.  
"No, not exactly. But I am unsure about the answer."  
Great. Which issue have my actions conjured now?  
"When I am awake, the number of reasons to fear and hate magic grow by almost every day. All I associate with the term 'magic' is danger, attack and enemy. Yet I couldn't help but strongly disapprove my father's decision to execute the druid. And I wouldn't go to any lengths on my own to find that missing boy. Why is that?"  
I tilted my head. "You have a great gift to ask the most difficult questions, with the most complicated answers."  
That was only half true, but the reaction on my answer could be absolutely anything, and I didn't really want to deal with that, not while the current encounter was ongoing.

"I promise I will answer your question, but would you grant me the favour to wait until the mess I am here about is over?"  
He thought quite a while, before giving a slight nod. "But I won't forget it. I will remind you, if necessary."  
I nodded. "I give you my word you will get your answer." We stood in silence for a while, staring in each other's eyes, before I moved on.  
"Actually, as you will already know, I came because of the druid boy."  
He agreed. "Where is he?"  
We were back in more familiar topics and a playful smile rested on my lips. "Merlin found and hid him. In Morganas chambers."  
"Morgana? That is why she said that at dinner with my father! Oh that bi-"  
"Let's be nice", I interrupted him, "Morgana was just trying to look as innocent as possible."  
"What is it with Morgana that we talk about her in here again?" My face darkened, although I was trying my best to prevent it. Arthurs raised eyebrow told me that I wasn't very successful.  
"We will talk about Morgana a whole awful lot in here. But the time to truly discuss her hasn't arrived... yet." Arthur looked like he really wanted to say something, but I didn't give him any opportunity. "Since this meeting was only meant to be in introduction, I will end it. I will be back... as always." That was the very first time, his expression did not change at all when I ended the meeting.

* * *

"He actually was in Morganas chambers this morning, wasn't he?"  
I still had a grin on my face. "Yes. So was Merlin."  
"Merlin? What was his business? I haven't seen him all day."  
Some wind played with my hair and I tucked it behind my ear. "The wound of the boy is infected. Merlin was doing some reading to treat it and Gaius thought it would be an excellent opportunity to start his education." I also had to smile about that. "It was very funny to see how he hid the boys boots from you. Would you like to see?"  
The pond was already next to me, I could see my reflection from where I was standing. I really enjoyed being somewhere else than his chambers. If his mind hadn't changed for an extra couple times, I would have been worried.  
"Is there much to see? I guess he used magic?"  
I nodded. "Of course. But it looked funny. Here, only for you to get the idea of it." I waved across the pond and the surface showed a picture, similar to a painting. More a photograph.  
It showed **the light brown leather boots, small enough to fit behind a pillar, walking on its toes towards the viewer. In the background were Arthurs legs, facing in the wrong direction.  
**I giggled again. When I lifted my head I met Arthurs gaze. I thought the corner of his mouth slightly moved, but that was maybe just in my head.  
"Good to know.", he finally said.  
"Oh come on! You have to admit, that was funny!"  
He tilted his head and now there was slight grin, but he didn't say anything.  
"Well, if that was all, I will end it here. You will need the sleep", I joked around and actually managed to catch a real grin.

* * *

He was staring in the distance when I approached him. We were outside, again, but, different than yesterday, Camelot was nowhere to be seen.  
"I caught her. And the boy.", Arthur said, with a very dark voice.  
"Yes, I know. And you seem to want away from Camelot, so you don't have to witness the consequences of that."  
He mumbled something I couldn't make out, so I stepped closer to the rock he was leaning against.  
"Father had me lock her up for the night. It just felt wrong."  
"Maybe because it was?" I studied his face, but only got a slight shrug.  
"Merlin had to be in on it. He stole my keys."  
I chuckled, almost against my will. He instantly focused on me.  
"Do you think that is funny?"  
I grinned, making a 'Maybe a bit?' gesture.  
"How did he do it? I always have the keys with me, unless I sleep. When did he stole them? I would have bet I would notice such an attempt."  
This time, I quietly laughed. "You have. Remember your ears were malfunctioning?"  
He stood straighter. "You can't be serious." I offered him the mirror I was holding for an answer.

As soon as he looked, we watched the entire scene, **how Merlin used his magic to get the key from Arthurs belt and started playing Hide and Seek with it, keeping the floating key just out of the mans gaze. When he dropped it in Arthurs dinner, I frowned a little, but had to smile nonetheless, when he fished it out with a spoon.  
**"That was his greatest risk so far", I commented as I put the mirror aside.  
Arthur seemed annoyed by himself and my grin returned. "What risk? I couldn't see the key and he made my think I was hearing stuff!"  
"It is even funnier, when you say it", I laughed, but got serious shortly after. "He could have pulled it from the air, hide it in his clothes. Instead he decided to drop it in your dinner? What if you still wanted to eat that?"  
Arthur looked at me. "I wouldn't have concluded that Merlin is a sorcerer, just by finding a key in my supper."  
"No, but you would have wondered. And Merlin would have had to get the key another way. To drop it like that, it was just an unnecessary risk."  
Arthur didn't say anything but he seemed to agree.  
"Okay, lets end it here. We will have quite a bit to talk about tomorrow." He still didn't answer, and that unused quiet Arthur was making me a bit nervous. He was probably still sitting on his question, and I really didn't look forward to answer that.

* * *

And again, we were outside. I was a bit confused, we hadn't left his chambers in a while and now so often? My feeling did not get any better, when I recognized the spot where he met with the druids only hours ago.  
"I have to apologize", I said, sitting down. I feared I wouldn't be able to stand our whole talk, so I'd rather sit from the beginning.  
"What for?" Arthur turned to me and noticed surprised my sitting position. He shortly hesitated, but then he got down across of me, mirroring my position.  
"For what I haven't told you. And for what I will tell you now."  
"And what would that be?" He was sitting straight, straighter than me and it cost me a bit, looking up in his eyes.  
"I declined you a very important decision. A decision only about you, but ironically, it wasn't yours to make."  
He raised an eyebrow, telling me to go on.  
"You freed the boy today. With Merlins help."  
He snorted. "Yeah. Who, of course, was running late."  
I swallowed. "He was running late because he actually had no intention to come."  
Arthur stared at me, confused.  
"The boy, Mordred, is a telepath. Very similar to my own powers. He called out for Merlin in his mind, until Merlin wasn't able to ignore him any longer. That was when the guards already almost caught you."  
"I... I don't understand. Why? Merlin is the last person to let an innocent child die."  
"Normally, yes. But he faced an awful decision today. The very same decision I didn't tell you about."  
Arthur became visibly impatient, his whole body got more tense.  
"What decision?"  
"Imagine a kingdom, ruled by a powerful tyrant. He would kill and enslave with no reason and is way too powerful to ever be stopped. But one day, you get the opportunity to go back in time and kill that man, when he was just a little kid, not older than the one you saved today. And now there are you, fully aware and certain of what he will become. Would you kill that boy?"

He looked at me like I was crazy. "Magic that strong is impossible! I don't understand what that has to do with anything!"  
I started shaking and tried to keep my voice calm. "That was Merlins decision. He knew, for certain, the same certainty I have, that this kid will do something awful, something so terrible, no one even wants to think about it. And Merlin had the opportunity to just don't show up, tell you a lie of being unable to sneak behind the guards. You would be mad, sure, Morgana would be devastated, but you wouldn't hold him responsible, not really."  
"That... horrible thing Mordred will be doing... It has something to do with me?"  
I nodded.  
"Will he kill me?"  
I sighed. I hoped he wouldn't get the right conclusion, but I underestimated him, once again. My sigh seemed to answer his question and for a while, we sat there, in silence.  
"I would like to have my question answered now.", he suddenly said.  
I was surprised. "Now? Don't you want to... I don't know, digest what I just said?"  
His eyes pierced through mine, before shaking his head. "I feel like I am still missing something. So I want you to answer my question. Now." His voice was hard, and already kind of cold, it didn't give me much hope for the following conversation.  
"As you wish..."

Well, that could go in two different ways. Either he will be extremely mad at me, again, or... he will simply accept my explanation. Here it goes.  
"If you think of magic now, which words come to your mind then?"  
He thought about it. "Dangerous", he finally answered, "Chaotic. Two-sided."  
I interrupted him. "Two sided?"  
He nodded, without looking at me. "Yes. It can attack and defend. It can hurt and it can heal. It can trick the mind or it can clear it."  
I smiled. "The word you are looking for is neutral. Magic is neutral."  
"Yes. I know you, with your gentle touch and hard words to open my eyes. And I know Merlin and his clumsy but yet efficient way to take care of my everyday needs, as the buffoon of a servant he is. Even though with everything I know right now, it is hard for me to picture even one of you as a danger or even an enemy."  
My smile got brighter and I leaned in, trying to catch his gaze.

"Exactly. You already know of three people, soon to be four, that are able to use magic. And neither one of those is a threat to you or to Camelot. As far as you know, that druid only came here to get supplies. What harm did he do?"  
"Yes, but that doesn't answer my question!" He was frustrated and threw his hands in the air. The he also leaned in, held my shoulders, preventing me from pulling back. It has been a while since I turned to smoke beneath his touch and I couldn't see a reason why I would start again now. It would only send a very wrong message.  
"Answer my question directly. Although I have no memory of our conversations and my knowledge here, why do I still act the way I do?"  
His blue eyes pierced through mine and my smile slowly faded.  
"Two reasons. First: You are a good man. To hunt someone or something down that never posed the slightest threat to you, it is against your very core. Your honour. Second: I told you before. Your subconscious knows exactly what you think and why. And it won't allow any-"  
"Shenanigans. Yes I remember."

Arthur spoke slowly and tasted the word like he never had a similar one on his tongue before.  
"Your subconscious is the home of your soul. While you are conscious, be it in here or out there, I have influence on your memories and what you think you feel. But your subconscious can't be manipulated. It knows what it knows and it feels what if feels. By having a slight influence here, I actually change your opinion on certain things, slowly but steady. And your soul knows that and acts on it. That is why although you only have reasons to hate and fear magic on the outside, you act on what is inside. Which is far more than that." I never let go of his eyes, and when his gaze moved over my head to think, I gently grabbed his chin and pulled it back to me. What would it be? Anger, that I influenced him? Or acceptance, that it was his own mind changing? "I... I do not know what to make out of this. All of this." He answered slowly looking in my eyes as he was searching something.  
"I would like to think about that later. I find that my thoughts are often clearer when I come back to them on another meeting."  
It was me who finally pulled back, I let go of his chin and took a step back, making his hands glide off my shoulders.  
"As you wish. Anything else you'd like to ask?" I looked to the ground. Guess I will have to wonder a bit more. But I took it as a good sign that he didn't rage out immediately.  
"No. You can come whenever you want, right? Then come tomorrow too. Maybe the day hunting will clear up my subconscious a bit."  
I nodded and closed my eyes when everything dissolved.

* * *

I materialized without a word. I was really nervous. When he made me wait, I realized I would rather postpone to talk about that forever, than having him being mad at me again.  
"There you are. Good." Still out in the woods, he was as far away from me than he had ever been. His arms were folded, and his face cold. Shit.  
"I have some thoughts", he told me and I braced myself. "I couldn't help but wonder, since I have no way of knowing if anything is even remotely true, as long as you are with me, if you are making everything up so I would change my mind on magic and pursue a different approach, once I am king."  
It wasn't really what he said that attacked me that much, it was more its sense combined with the complete lack of emotion on his face, that left me stunned. When I didn't answer, he continued his awful speech:  
"As far as I know, everything I have seen in your company, in here or out, could be a very powerful lie. I admit that you knew what Merlin, my father or Gaius would say before it happened, yes. But everything else? Maybe all you want is to legalize magic once I'm king, and you are using Merlin as a puppet to carry your 'proof' that 'good magic' exists."  
I was completely shocked. My mouth was open and I was staring at him with a mix of shock, confusion and probably more than a little hurt on my face.  
"I... I don't..." I was trying to get a proper answer out of my mouth, but I failed. This was like a kick in the stomach, more so, as it came unexpected. I had imagined quite a few different reactions he could have, but him questioning everything I did, all over again? Wondering if I had cooked up some evil master plan to legalize magic?

"And that! Maybe that is exactly what you wanted to achieve! You are crying, and although I could be right with every word, all I want is to apologize and comfort you! Because that is the influence you have! The influence that you wanted to establish!"  
Crying? I was crying? I touched my cheek with a very slow motion, not letting Arthur out of my sight. Yes, my fingers came back wet. I didn't even notice that my vision blurred.  
"You are corrupting me." It was a flat sentence, and it own existence proved that Arthur actually believed that. "You are corrupting me and I just let it happen. Swallowed your words and took them for the truth, without any second-guessing. I won't do that anymore."  
"Then... what will you do?" I never heard my own voice that shaky. I was destroyed by his words. Funny, because I thought I would be able to handle whatever he would throw my way, that this simply was my quest and I had to bare it. I had never considered that my own emotions and feelings for him would be part of the equation.

And the worst thing was that he was not wrong. He had no real reason to believe my words, and I gave him no option to verify them.  
"I won't trust you anymore." Huh. Him standing there in his full armour made a lot more sense now. I had no idea that his image could also be influenced by inner circumstances.  
"I will not trust you, unless you give me any reason to. Anything that would prove you right to me. And until you can offer me something... I want you to stay away. No matter what happens."  
"I..."  
"I don't want to hear any excuses, explanations or whatever. I want you to leave. Now!"  
I made a step forward, lifting my hand without noticing but I froze when he took a step back, still iron in his eyes. I broke the connection without noticing it. Only to wake up on a pillow wet from my tears.

* * *

I thought the tite of the episode was rather fitting... And please don't be mad at me!  
I will make up for that I swear!

I am not really satisfied with this chapter, but I had to rush to get it done in time and it contains everything I need. Still... meh. Maybe you can give me your thoughts on Cassies explanation and Arthurs reaction! I would really appreciate it!


	9. Excalibur

**Excalibur**

I needed a lot of time to make up my mind about this, but in the end I decided not to have a choice. I knew when the black knight would appear and the joyful chats about Arthur's coronation tipped me off weeks before. It was very easy getting my way into the city. Many guests arrived and one more unfamiliar face staying in one of the inns didn't matter. I had to admit, I froze when I saw Guinevere's face for the first time when she was getting water at the station. I had never, ever, seen one of their faces really with my very own eyes. I watched from very far behind as Tristan Du'Bois killed Sir Owain and I studied Arthurs face when he challenged him after the second knights death. He was beautiful. I always liked to think that it wouldn't be a difference, seeing and knowing the people only from my visions, or actually watching and talking to them. I guess I was wrong. Very wrong. I also caught a glimpse of Merlin's face, when he walked back towards the castle, Gaius not far from him. It was such a strange feeling to actually see them. I couldn't really get over it.

I was awake that night, toying around with the idea to visit Arthur, who was already sleeping from the drugs Gaius gave him. I missed him. Funny how you can get attached to a person so fast. But in the end I decided not to. He made very clear that he didn't want to see me. And what would I even say? No, it would be a bad idea. In the end he would demand that I woke him up so he could face Tristan. And he would get even more mad when I wouldn't comply.

* * *

The next day, I made myself ready for what I was actually here for. Ever since I set my mind to this idea, I waited for a sign of approval or disapproval from the Editor. And was pretty put off, when nothing came. So I decided to talk to the only mind, who might actually knew that I existed and if my plan would destroy everything. Sneaking up to the castle when everyone was heading out to see Uther fight was very easy. I only felt the confusion of one guard, that he associated with my figure heading up instead of down, but I connected and made him forget about me very quickly. Once I was inside, I let my instinct guide me towards the dungeons and down the big staircase. I grabbed a torch from the wall and held it high above my head. I wasn't really fond of fire. Especially when it was that close to my face.

"Hello? Kilgharrah, are you there?"My voice lost itself in the giant cave, the echo so far away, I almost couldn't hear it. And it was drown out very fast by the gigantic wings of the dragon who appeared at my left side, flying around before finally landing on the big rock across of me.  
"Hello young prophet. What a surprise. I wondered if I would ever meet you", the dragon greeted me, his voice almost too powerful for my ears.  
I felt our connection kick in immediately, and slightly wondered why it wasn't there all along when we obviously knew about each other, but I didn't need to analyze that fact right now.  
"So you do know about me. I wondered."  
The dragon laughed. "It would be foolish of me to not know of you, young prophet. Merlin and Arthur may be targets for all kinds of threats, but you are the shield from the shadows. Although I admit that I doubted your existence."  
I frowned. "Why is that?"  
"Because you are not original.", the dragon answered.  
I had no clue what to make out of that, but knew better than to ask further questions. "I want to reveal myself. But I am not sure if that is such a good idea."  
"And why would you want to do that? The darkness protects you. Why give that up?"  
I bit my lip. "Because that same darkness blinds Arthur. And I can't continue without him seeing me clearly."  
"Ah, I see." He was quiet for a while. "It would be foolish for you to leave the shadows. You can't see your own future."  
How did he knew that? "So you say I shouldn't do it?"  
"I said you shouldn't leave. But I can't see the harm in giving the young prince some light."

I wanted to answer something, but the sound of his wings cut me off before I even opened my mouth. Different than Merlin I wouldn't shout after him so I remained silent and thought about his words. I flattered myself with believing that I understood Kilgharrah's words better than Merlin usually did, but now I was a little bit lost. It was no disapproval, that was for sure. But to completely reveal myself was not good. He was right, I couldn't see my own future. And if I would become an open advisor to Arthur, in a very optimistic scenario, I would have a target on my back for everyone who would want to hurt or disrupt him. And I had no way of knowing. So that was unacceptable. I had to make hard choices to keep Arthur and Merlin both alive and for that I had to be alive myself. And I had to be able to consider myself safe. I knew myself, the paranoia would eat me up.

Lost in my thoughts, I made the way back up the stairs and hushed out of the castle. The battle was still ongoing, so my talk with the Great Dragon did not take much time. Arthur was probably banging on his doors right now to get out and take Uther's place. The thought to simply go to him and talk crossed my mind but I rejected it and went to collect my few belongings from the tavern. If everything went accordingly, I would actually meet Arthur soon enough.

* * *

"Hello Arthur."  
We were standing at the training grounds, a relatable choice after what happened over the last few days. Arthur seemed like he held a sword only seconds ago, but after he met my gaze he lowered his, now empty, hand and folded his arms instead.  
"What are you doing here? I told you I did not want to see you."  
"Unless I will give you proof of my intentions. Yes, you made yourself very clear." I was trying to sound like nothing changed. I approached him and he studied me like he saw me for the first time.  
"You are travelling somewhere", he finally said, commenting my dirty boots and the long, thick cape I wore.  
"Yes. We will meet there pretty soon."  
That caused a raised eyebrow. "We will?" His arms were still folded, but he seemed at least a bit less distant and I allowed myself to have a little hope.  
"Yes. You will see me face to face."  
He pulled a face. "I will not recognize you, will I? Without memories."  
There it was. The point of this. I looked to the ground and run a hand through my hair.  
"Actually..." I didn't hear him, only felt his hands on my shoulders. He made me raise my head again, I felt small standing in front of him.  
"Actually? Actually what?"  
I collected all my confidence and said: "Actually, you will. At least I think so."  
"You will give me my memories back?" His whole face lit up and he looked at me with almost childish excitement.  
I bit my lip. "Not exactly. There is something I have to explain first."  
His expression had already hardened again with my first words, so I continued quickly:  
"That whole memory erase thing is a bit more complicated than me just deciding what you are allowed to keep and what not."  
"I am listening." He had let go of my arms and I started pacing.

"You noticed already that my power would allow me to live like a queen if I wanted to. And you also know, that I am not able to manipulate any mind without a connection, never mind if I had one before or not."  
He nodded, slowly. "Assuming you told me the truth, yes."  
I gave him an exhausted smile. "That means, if I would want to be a queen, I would have to keep every connection I made then for the rest of my life, if I don't want to risk that somebody will hunt me down for sorcery."  
"And? You hold the bond to me. And to your various animals."  
"Animals are easy. Their minds are simple, easy to hold. Humans are very different. And to hold connections to only five or ten of them..." I shook my head. I couldn't even imagine what dimensions of strength and concentration that would cost.  
"I was at the castle today. And no, I won't tell you why", I quickly added when I saw his already opening mouth.  
"The thing is, that I had to manipulate a guard in forgetting I was there. And if I would want to keep that memory from him, I will have to hold that bond. Forever."  
He frowned. "But you won't do that. Why?"  
I laughed disbelieving. "Because it would be exhausting! That is what I am trying to say! My power has limits. A lot of limits. And a lot of rules to follow."  
"Then why do it in the first place?" Arthur frowned, trying hard to understand what I was getting at.  
I shrugged. "I knew there would be some kind of risk. I have the luck that he never saw my face. Only my back hurrying up to the castle. I will cut through the connection in a few weeks and when he remembers, he will be confused but he won't think anything by it. Probably just shrug it off, thinking he got distracted and forgot."

Arthurs mouth slowly opened, his eyes scanning my face. "You said if you cut our bond I would remember. What you meant was that you would have to cut it, if I would ever remember."  
I smiled at him. "Exactly. Once I messed with your memories there is no returning them with the very same connection. I could only erase more. If I wanted to start over, I would have to cut our connection, let you remember and connect again."  
Now he gulped. He finally understood what my point was. "You're going to cut our connection. I will remember. And you will be where I'll be in the near future so you have a possibility to connect again. Leaving just enough time in between for me to..."  
"To see that I told you the truth. Yes. You are exactly right."  
It was a risky plan, I knew that. A very risky plan. What if he started to speak to his father about his strange dreams? The only precaution I had was the point of time. I hoped that he would already be on his way to Ealdor with Merlin, Morgana and Gwen, before he started to take the dreams seriously. And if everything went to hell and all of the above including Gaius and Uther would know about them, I would have to connect with them. And talk to Merlin. Which would be a very long talk to make him understand my angle. I really didn't like that, but it was the only thing I could think of. Letting Arthur keep the truth, just long enough he wouldn't doubt me again. Not stepping out of the shadows, but giving Arthur the light to see me.

"...that, Cassandra?"  
I shook my thoughts an blinked at him. "I am sorry, what was that?"  
"You are really serious about this, aren't you?" He looked thoughtful and I smiled at him.  
"I am. I thought I could do all of this, even without your cooperation. A foolish thought, I see that now."  
He smiled at me, brightly and closed the distance my pacing had created. "You are doing the right thing. Please understand me. I have to be sure."  
I nodded. "Don't worry. I do." We smiled at each other, our hands half risen, almost touching. I got nervous.  
"Let me do it now."  
He smiled and nodded. I rose my hand higher, laying them against his head. He closed his eyes and so did I, leading us inside the small room our bond was kept in. It was even thicker now than it was before and a small worry began to grow inside of me. It was so strong already, one day I would have to cut it a final time and I couldn't imagine how hard that would be.  
"Let's do it together", I whispered and together we rose a hand, extending them.  
"Now!" Our hands came down cutting all the way through the white, pulsing strings. I let out a painful scream and got sucked away so harshly I almost hit the fire as my body moved, shaking, my head exploding.

* * *

Arthur was out on a hunting trip with a few of his knights. There would be some kind of festivity soon and the kitchen needed more flesh to feed everyone. For Arthur the hunt before a feast was almost the best part of the whole entire thing. Although he had to admit he was a bit curious about that Lady Helen his father didn't shut up about.  
"Sire! We spotted the deer! It is not far!"  
"Then hurry up! We can't let it get away!" His steps got quicker and he already lifted the crossbow. They left the horses behind a while ago, they made to much noise. Arthur stepped on a branch and cursing himself he rushed into the woods to his right, parallel to the deer he just warned. He left his fellow huntsman behind quickly when he followed the deer which did not seem to be very smart, even for his kind. It already stopped again, head held up high, offering a perfect target for Arthurs arrow. Arthur closed an eye and aimed. Just when he wanted to shoot, there was a loud whistle and a stone was flying through the air, hitting the deer at the back, causing it to flee deeper inside the woods, visibly faster and more panicked now. Arthur measured quickly if it would be worth it to chase it, but decided it wouldn't be. There was no way he would be able to keep up on foot. Instead he searched for the source of the whistle. His eyes caught a skinny figure in a thick grey cape. It wore a hood and turned his back to him, looking after the deer.

"Hey!", Arthur shouted, lowering his crossbow and taking a step towards the figure. "Who are you? You just chased away our target!" He wanted to continue his rant but the figure turned around and he hesitated. His eyes caught a small woman, very skinny with beautiful red hair that she had loosely tucked back. Green eyes out of a pale face looked at him and her mouth was twisted like she was trying to hide a laugh. Her green dress was pretty enough for a handmaiden in Camelot and Arthur stared at her like he was hypnotized. He never met a woman outside the castle that had such a well-groomed appearance.  
"And what will you do? Arrest me?" There was still some kind of laugh in her voice, like she didn't take him seriously.  
"That depends. Can you make up for it?" Arthur layed his weapon down completely and approached her, a mocking grin on his face. Now that he took a second look, he saw she wasn't a beauty, her hair and eye colour were rare, but that was about it. Still she was rather attractive and there was no law against having a little fun.  
She tilted her head. "I don't think my kind of payment would suit a prince like you are." Her words were mocking, almost flirting but her expression and tone didn't match. She looked almost sad and she had lowered her voice to almost a whisper.  
Arthur frowned and opened his mouth, when a nasty pain shot through his forehead, causing him to close his eyes and clench his teeth. When he opened them, he was alone in the woods, briefly wondering why he was standing there when his knights already approached him and they continued their hunt.

Arthur sat up in his bed, his eyes were open but he didn't see the red curtains before his face. He was focused on an image in his mind, the face of a young woman with red hair and green eyes, desperately searching for a name.

* * *

Hello there!  
As probably already suspected, that chapter wasn't really about the episode. I hoped you still liked it!

And you maybe noticed that I shifted the paragraphs a little, especially during the conversations. I avoided that until now because most of the time I write very fluently and I hate interruptions to edit my text like that. Even after I am done. It just kinda throws me off. I hoped I could dodge that bullet this time, but like **Tianne** pointed out to me, I can't. I hope it is more understandable for you now! And I would also like to give a special thanks to **Shanni **(everytime I write your full name it disappears after saving) and **GuestM** for always leaving a review with their thoughts about each chapter behind. It is highly appreciated and very helpful! Thanks a lot!


	10. The Moment of Truth

**A.N.: **This is an enormous chapter, almost twice as long as the longest so far. I hope you enjoy it! I thought of cutting it in two parts making it similar in length to the others, but I wanted the number of chapters to match the number of episodes of each season. You are lucky!  
This chapter is quite a bit different than any other. I thought I would do chapters similar to this one every once in a while when the opportunity presents itself. Would you like that? Please let me know!

**Important**: The reviews showed me, that the last part of chapter 9 was a bit confusing. To clarify: That was a dream! Arthur dreamt/remembered his very first meeting with Cassie! I thought the fact that he woke up afterwards and that he mentioned Helen's name (villain from the first chapter) were enough so that would be understandable. To conclude: Arthur and Cassie are still broken up! They haven't met again and Arthur started to remember their encounters!

* * *

**The Moment of Truth**

It just felt weird. It has only been a few weeks, but I got so used to that slight pull towards Arthur in the back of my mind, that it just felt weird and empty without it. The fact that I wasn't anywhere near my actual home also made me feel uneasy. I arrived in Ealdor a little more than a week ago and some people were still giving me strange looks. Well, not Hunith. I was lucky enough to run into her the day I arrived and after a nice chat about 'feeling different' and 'unsure where to belong' she took me in. As Merlin's mother, of course she could relate. And it was probably the reason I reminded her of her son, that she cared about me that much. And I enjoyed it. More than I should. As long as I could remember, my actual mom has always been distant. Almost like she was afraid. I figured that something happened during my early years, something involving my powers. And while my mom reacted with fear, my father... he got angry. And that is the main reason I disappeared as soon as I figured out how my powers worked.

The constant throb in my head ripped me from my thoughts. Oh yes, another thing that was new. Since I broke my bond to Arthur I had a very bad headache, getting worse with every day. It has never been that way before and I started to get worried. Some part inside me believed that it came as a constant reminder from the Editor to continue with my quest. But in order to do so I needed to connect with Arthur. And I could only do that when he came to Ealdor to protect it. Which brought me right back to the presence, where I stuffed a sack of grain inside the haystack, hoping Kanen and his men would overlook it. He got here the same day I did, but not for the first time. Hunith had told me all about him and after he had beaten her and gave the village a deadline of one week she decided she would ask Camelot for help, since King Cenred wouldn't lift a finger. She offered me to come with her, but despite my desperate longing to see Arthur again, I declined. My face could conjure his memories even faster and I hoped I could deal with him while I stayed as far away from Uther and his desire to kill everything as possible. So instead she offered me her house while she was away, watching over the village in her place.

"Putting it in the haystack won't be enough", a voice behind me said. Speaking of the devil... I turned around and smiled when I saw Will's face. We befriended each other after I moved in with Hunith and my powers told me that he had a slight crush on me.  
"I know. I am hoping for the best. Mostly I am hoping for Hunith to return." I approached him and we walked back to Hunith's house together.  
"Do you really believe King Uther will help us?" He sounded very sceptical and my smile deepened.  
"To be honest, no. But even if Uther won't, others might. Hunith told me about her son, working for the prince himself."  
"Merlin, yes. He would be helpful", muttered Will while looking to the ground.  
I looked at him with feigned surprise: "Would he? What could one man do?"  
Will flinched. "Nothing", he quickly said, looking beaten down. "No one can do something. We should simply give Kanen what he wants. That way at least we won't be killed."  
"But we wouldn't survive the winter." I answered.

He had the 'And why would you care' look again and I avoided his gaze. Will was nice to me, nicer than most of the others, but he was still a bit suspicious. Coming here without telling why and staying although I had no obligations, it was off. I tried to just blend in but it hadn't really worked. I gave him a quick look. I was fascinated by Will. He was a character that always seemed strange to me, like he didn't belong here more than I did. I never lost a thought about his death, but now that I knew him, a warning tried to escape my mouth almost every time I spoke with him.  
"Kanen's deadline ends today. They could be here any minute.", Will said, changing the topic. Just after he finished, a scream pierced through the air.  
"You jinxed it", I mumbled and we backed towards the wall while the enemy's horse stormed through the people. It didn't take them very long until they found the secret cellar. The sack I hid was actually suppose to be there too, but it was overlooked and I knew there wouldn't be enough time to open the cellar again. Didn't matter anyway.

Just when Kanen was about to kill Matthew, a sword flew through the air. Arthur and the others appeared, making me eject the breath I had hold in. While William beside me focused on Merlin who fought with the bold man that found the cellar, my eyes were glued to Arthur. It was just when I heard William move away that I turned around, early enough to see the hot glowing sword the bandit was suddenly holding. Merlin defeated his enemy, as did Arthur and Morgana took care of a third one.  
"You will pay for this! All of you!", Kanen shouted as he got on his horse and fled the scene. He rode right past me and I turned around to look after him. That was round one. The rest would follow.

I heard Will and Merlin chatting behind my back and suddenly nervous, I turned around and tidied my hair.  
"It is good to see you again", Merlin said and I approached them.  
"Can't claim the same", Will answered and grinned. "By the way, that is Cassandra. You won't know her, she came here only a short while ago."  
Merlin turned his head to look at me and the second his blue eyes met my green ones, I could feel a connection appearing, filling up a void I had no idea was there until it disappeared. It soothed the emptiness I felt whether Arthur's loss, leaving only one half of the hole open to fill. I was too distracted by my feelings running wild to say something and it seemed similar for him because he froze and frowned for a second, before opening his mouth.  
But instead of his voice I heard Arthur's: "Merlin? Gather the villagers I need to talk to them."  
Merlin tried to say something, but got immediately cut off: "Now, Merlin. There isn't much time." Arthur had already turned his back on us, not even noticing Will or me for that matter. I swallowed the lump in my throat. That would definitely change as soon as he got a real look on me.

I watched the discussion between Arthur and William, but weren't really listening. My eyes rested on Arthur. Maybe he wouldn't recognize me after all. I certainly looked different. My dress was very simple, like the other women's, my face was dirty and my bright red hair tucked under a sheet, leaving only a few strands out. There was no way to distinguish me from the other women of the village. It took a bit of overcoming to go after Will like Merlin did, but I did it anyway. It felt right.  
"I had no idea you disliked prince Arthur that much", I stated when I appeared at the doorway of Will's house.  
Merlin glanced at me and added: "He knows what he's doing. You've got to trust him."  
I bit my lip when the situation unfolded in front of me. After the conversation turned towards Will's father, I quietly left. That was nothing I was involved in. And I had no authorization to speak of him.

The villagers had gone to their one homes, just Hunith remained with the newcomers.  
"You can stay the night with us. It will be cramped but it should be alright.", she said and added when she noticed me: "This is Cassandra, a friend of mine. She also stays at my place."  
I smiled and twitched a little unsure how to behave. Should I bow? Curt? I never had to deal with that kind of shit before. In the end, I decided to smile and nod to everyone of them. Guinevere returned my smile, as did Morgana although I couldn't shake the thought that something about me threw her a bit off. Welcome to the club, sister. At last I raised my gaze to meet Arthurs clear blue eyes. He had already opened his mouth, I suppose to say something that showed his good manners towards a simple woman, when he completely froze. His eyes flicked between my eyes, my mouth, my body, my hair and then my eyes again. His hand was suddenly half in the air, hanging there like he wanted to brush my cheek. The bond I was missing so much snatched back in its place and I had to suppress a relieved moan when the headache instantly bettered. I was almost surprised how strong I could feel him, considering I hadn't connected with him yet.

"Arthur? Are you alright?", Morgana asked, frowning.  
Of course the others witnessed his, as I suspected, very untypical behaviour and it took for Hunith to ask: "Are you not feeling well Prince Arthur? Are you hurt?", for him to break out.  
"I am fine, these men are no match for me. Don't worry", he assured, looking at Hunith now but I noticed him darting looks in my direction.  
For a while they just stood there, everyone lost in their own thoughts before Hunith broke the silence: "Please let me show you where you sleep. You must be exhausted."  
"And hungry. I prepared some food", I added, drawing Arthur's attention to me again.  
But it was Morgana who answered: "That is very kind of you. But we do not want to use up your food. We brought some supplies."  
I smiled at her, which was a bit more difficult than I thought it would be, and answered: "You wouldn't. I followed a hunch this morning and made some more stew. I was lucky enough to catch a rabbit yesterday and I wouldn't want to waste it." Actually Summer brought me that rabbit. Will stared with disbelief when I brought it home and I lied to him about some trap I invented. But I insisted in cooking it this morning, knowing the newcomers would appreciate the meat. It would be the last for a while.  
"We-", Morgana began but was cut short by Arthur very quickly: "Are very thankful for your offer."  
I smiled and the group finally started to move. I not only cooked but also prepared the majority of the floor for sleeping on it. Hunith showed me the spot Merlin used to sleep at and after a while of getting used to, it wasn't so bad. But I really missed my bed. I actually considered to stay in Ealdor, but I really wanted to be as close to Camelot and with that to Arthur and Merlin as possible. And not having a proper bed was not an option. My powers required laying down a lot and being that uncomfortable every time? I wouldn't bear it.

Merlin returned to us at the door and I really enjoyed their surprised faces when the saw everything prepared. I saw Merlin's raised eyebrow considering I got the amount of beds needed right, but he seemed the only one to think anything by it. Although I felt another glance from Arthur at my back, but when I turned around, he already concentrated on the food. The night came quick and when I layed in the light of the single candle still burning, I overheard the conversation between the two men, not daring to interrupt. They needed to know each other better, it was important. When Merlin turned to blow the candle out, his eyes caught mine and a hesitant smile spread on my face. Hunith had told them over dinner what she knew about me and she looked at Merlin when she said how I searched for a place to belong. Maybe that was the reason he also gave me a shy smile and winked at me before allowing the dark to come in. Suddenly falling asleep was very easy.

* * *

Hunith and I were the first ones to be up in the morning and I used that time to get into the only pair of trousers I possessed, matching it with a linen shirt, a waistcoat and a belt. I purchased these clothes a while ago, saying they were for my brother. Now I matched Gwen and Morgana in style, something that caused a raised eyebrow from the others, but no one said something. I had no real intent to fight with a sword, I was no good at that, I tried. But bringing people down, especially when they were trying to attack me was easy. I chuckled at Morgana's mockery and Arthur's attempt to avoid breakfast and was the first one to follow him out. He turned around, probably expecting to see Merlin and froze again when he saw me. We stared at each other, actually I wanted to escape his gaze, no reason to behave even more suspicious, but the blue of his eyes trapped me, searching for something deep inside my emeralds. Morgana interrupted us, letting her gaze wonder between us and I looked down. I stayed with the girls when Arthur conjured the men, training them to fight. After they started to sharpen swords, something I couldn't help them with, I went looking for Will. I knew he would be against this whole idea, and I knew he disliked Arthur because he resembled Will's father, but I never really understood that.

"You are looking hopeless", I greeted him as he sat on a pile of wood, very near to the exercising men.  
"Me? No. They. They look hopeless." He gestured towards the training men.  
"Do they? They prepare to defend their homes, their families. They may not be very good yet, but stress and fear may be just enough drive for them to do what is needed."  
He shook his head and focused on me, noticing my tight trousers and the blouse, accentuating my skinny figure. "You look good", he told me, blushing.  
I smiled. "Thanks. Although I am not as beautiful as Morgana, or as exotic as Gwen, I really feel comfortable in these clothes. Too bad only men wear it", I said with a hunch of irony that Will wouldn't get. But that wasn't even the part of my sentence he focused on.  
"You are just as pretty as these two, just different. Believe me, I am not the only one who noticed."  
I looked at him, honestly astonished: "What? What do you mean?"  
His face darkened again, and he spoke like the words were poison on his tongue: "Prince Arthur is barely able to keep his eyes off of you. I can see him gazing after you, whenever you are not looking."  
His first word was dripping with irony, but I was so confused by his first sentence, I barely understood the second. I knew his dreams would be very regular by now and he probably saw me last night, talking to him. But I hadn't noticed any glances in my direction since the training started.  
"He is probably just wondering who exactly I am", I blurted out, not even lying. "It is not like Hunith told them very much and I can't either."  
I saw Will slowly nod from the corner of my eyes, I was watching Arthur again, in the same way Will watched me as I suddenly noticed. Longing and questioning at the same time.

The rest of the day rushed by pretty fast and though I overheard the girls' conversation with Arthur about letting women fight, I did nothing to back them up. Like I said, I was no good with the sword and it was best everything played out without any involvement from my side. I had a different goal. I goal I pursued when I volunteered to bring Arthur some dinner, cutting Merlin off in the process. I apologized, but he just signalled his refusal, humorously stating that he didn't need to look after Arthur any more than his job needed him to. I laughed, but not because of his statement, but at the giant pile of irony behind it. Merlin was the best liar when he joked around, but I could see right through him. A little voice inside me noted that the looks Merlin gave me indicated that he did the very same thing, but I shut that down. Our paths would only cross very briefly and after they would return to Camelot, I would be off his mind very quickly.

So I grabbed a bowl with some thin soup and went outside, feeling four different set of eyes on my back. I found Arthur standing at the edge of the village, Matthew next to him, but the brown-haired man disappeared when he saw me approaching. Arthur turned around, eyebrow already raised, giving him a sceptical appearance that deepened when he saw me. I tried not to be discouraged by that.  
"You missed dinner", I told him quietly and offered him the bowl. He took it, but placed it directly on a pile of wood nearby. He started to say something a few times, but stopped himself before a word left his mouth. I was too nervous to start talking on my own so when he finally asked:  
"Would you walk with me?", it came as a relief. We left the village behind us, walking up the same hill Merlin did this morning when he went to get wood. Suddenly Arthur sat down, in the same spot Will did, hours before.  
"I really do not mean to offend you", he began, turning to me as I sat down beside him, "But you look awfully familiar in very strange way. When I see how you speak, smile or frown, it is like I have already watched that a dozen times over. Considering we firstly met yesterday, that is a very upsetting feeling."  
I was stunned for a second. Of course I knew that he had this on his mind and I was suspected he would like to talk about it, but him being that straightforward about a sensitive topic like that, it simply felt wrong. Maybe something inside him already remembered that he didn't need to play pretend with me.  
"I have to admit...", I started, thinking about my response very quickly, hoping not to make a big mistake, "That I recognize that feeling you describe. Like already knowing you for quite a while. As if there were a _connection_ I only yet notice."  
His eyes widened at my answer, he probably expected that I would be confused, not understanding what was going on.  
"Yes... a connection... that fits", he mumbled, looking to the ground before catching my eyes again. "If you wouldn't mind... after all of this is over, I would like to explore that... connection. Something just feels off."  
I nodded in agreement, but thought by myself that if he really had no idea what was going when this was all over, my plan failed. I hoped the last night brought back every missing piece and that this conversation would turn out that I would explain to him what I expected to happen. But his very first words showed me, that he was still unsure and that he couldn't really connect my face to his dreams. Also something that left me quite uneasy. Of course I had no way of truly knowing how the memories returned to their owner, but after he saw me and not immediately pointed his finger declaring me a witch that poisoned his dreams, I knew something was different. And that soft, confused approach from a few moments ago, as sweet as it was, was really not what I needed. Time was running out.

* * *

I was the first to get up the next morning and I kept away from the village. I had no desire in being there when Matthew's body came and I wanted to follow Will when he decided to leave the village. I only knew that something convinced him to come back on the day of the battle. It couldn't be Merlins words, or he would never have left. A slight suspicion grew inside me, that I couldn't see why he was turning back, because I was the very reason. But since I couldn't see my own future, I had no idea how I would manage to do that, since I there was no way I could stay with him. My only chance was to plant a seed that hopefully would turn him around at just the right time. Apropos the right time... Just around noon I watched Will storming out of his house, packed with clothes and supplies. Lucky for me he exited the village in the direction I was waiting, making it easy to follow him. I intercepted him just when Ealdor was out of sight.  
"You are leaving us?" I appeared at his right side and he flinched, drawing a sword. I raised my hands in a defensive gesture. "Sorry if I startled you."  
"Cassie!", he uttered and put the sword away. "What are you doing here?"  
"The real question is, what are you doing here?", I replied, nodding towards his bearings.  
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I am leaving. I have no desire to see my people slaughtered." During his talk with Merlin he was ruled by anger and judgement. Now he just seemed tired and beaten down.  
"Then don't. Stay and help them fight."  
"To die like everyone else? No. Matthew died, you know that? And more will follow."  
I nodded. "I know. But maybe it will be one less if you would be there."  
He shrugged and blushed about my shown faith in him. I only smiled and offered him a hand. He hesitated, long, but then he finally took it, returning with me to the village.

I spend the rest of the day keeping an eye on Will and avoiding Arthur's eye on the other hand. Something changed, I could sense it and the fact that Gwen, Morgana and Hunith came to me separately, telling me that Arthur wanted to talk to me and quietly asking themselves why, was only the least strongest indicator. I was glad that Arthur was obviously able to sort out his strongest priorities and not come after me immediately. But so was I and that was because, right at this moment, Arthur was not my priority. Will was. He had to pass me to disappear after the prince's speech, as I was standing in the doorway. I followed him quietly, watching as he took his stuff once again, looking at it thoughtfully. I made a small noise and he lifted his head, looking at me.  
"I am leaving at dawn", he said without any emotion. "If you would like to join me, you are very welcome." Then he turned his back.

So that was an issue I would deal with tomorrow. Which brought me to the other topic at hand. Arthur. I would have to talk to him now. There wouldn't be any better time. I turned around and intercepted the prince when he was on his way out. Hunith and Merlin were already on their way towards home, talking about Arthur probably discovering Merlin's secret. Gwen and Morgana stayed behind, still chatting with the villagers.  
"I heard you were looking for me?" The tone I used was different from the get-go, confident, teasing, much more like my spiritual self.  
"You!", Arthur hissed, not particularly angry, but still not happy. He grabbed my arm and dragged me through the village. He grabbed a torch with the other hand and continued to drag me along until we reached the same spot we talked yesterday. Arthur stuck the torch between a few branches to give us light and then turned around, his eyes almost more light than the flame next to his face.  
"I see you finally have all the pieces. I was starting to get worried", I said, still teasing him.  
His breath became heavy, he took a few steps towards me, letting his eyes gliding all over my body, noticing every detail.  
I shivered like he had actually touched me. "Aren't you going to say something?" This silence made me nervous.  
"Who are you?"

Something led me to believe that this short, pressing delivered question was much more important than it seemed to be and I answered with the according seriousness: "I am Cassandra. A prophet and a telepath, send by the Editor to protect you and Merlin."  
He raised his hand, briefly touching my arm. "You are here. Your body. Awake."  
I nodded, no sure what he was getting at.  
"I remember. Everything. Every dream, every conversation we had."  
I nodded again. "That was the point."  
He stared a bit through me, like he was talking to himself. "I do not know if what you said is true. If Merlin is a sorcerer or not. But I know you are. You have magic, you used it on me and now you are here. I can touch you. I can hurt you. I can... capture you."  
Okay, I really did not like where this was going. Time to change the direction. I took a step forward and, surprisingly, he did not flinch at all when I raised my hand, although he was unarmed. He probably thought I couldn't do much to him without my powers. He was kind of right. I touched his cheek like I wanted to do all the time since he arrived in Ealdor two days ago. He shivered, but didn't pull back so I got braver. I took the second hand, framed his face and came even closer. He was so tall, I actually had to look up to him when I was this close.

"But you won't do that. Will you?" My voice was very quiet, steady, and I still framed his face but I hoped somehow he knew that I wasn't using any magic on him.  
"No... not yet." His voice was as quiet as mine and the look in his eyes very thoughtfully. He suddenly layed his hands on my shoulders, to any bystander it would look like a hug.  
"Thank you." For some reason, that was important to be said. That thing has been the greatest risk for me, that he took me in, the second he knew what I had done, and would bring me back to Camelot, getting me killed.  
"I cannot say why", he stated, searching in my eyes for the answer. "It should be the most natural thing to do for me, but still..."  
I smiled. "Believe it or not, I do not know why either. From the moment we cut the connection, everything was your decision. Can you feel it? I haven't connected with you yet."  
He closed his eyes and brought his face down, leaning his forehead against mine. "But I can still feel it. The bond that ties me to you. The hole that filled as soon as everything snapped into place..."

My eyes got wide, unseen by him. He felt it too? The void, where the connection should have been? The suction towards each other? For me it resembled the bond with Merlin kicking in, our connection that now built a triangle, like it was suppose to be, which I suddenly knew. But for him, unpractised in reading the signs like that, it must've felt like a indefinable, giant uneasiness that finally soothed. His bond to Merlin has been there before I started all of this, and when I bonded with Merlin, we were still broken off. Now was the very first time, everything was in place. And I was sure, the last remaining headache would disappear, as soon as I build up the connection between our minds again. If I could feel it and Arthur could feel it too, the emptiness when I was away, was that the reason Merlin acted so strange when he saw me? Because, just like me, he was sensitive enough to notice that something was put into place that should have been there before but wasn't? That, since he was the first to be connected to both other parties, something finally felt right? If so, he hid it very well. And got his priorities as straight as we did, not mentioning anything. Suddenly I knew, that when I connected my mind to Merlin's and Arthur's at the same time, levelling everything up, it wouldn't just feel _right_, it would be _divine. _But that couldn't be until a different issue was solved.

"Do you know why I am here?", I asked, breaking our special moment, even though a part of me screamed how stupid I was for doing so.  
Arthur opened his eyes again, retrieving his head. I lowered my hands and let them rest on his chest. "You wanted to prove to me, that Merlin is a sorcerer."  
I gave him a firm nod. "And if you saw that tomorrow, Merlin using magic, will you believe me? Have trust in me and my words although you can't check them? Let me confront and advise you in magical problems you really need to know about? And, most importantly, let me connect to you again, taking your memories of all of this, while you are awake? Letting me continue on the road I have already been?" Something in me giggled, the melody of my words resembled wedding vows, but I was paying no attention to that. This was far too important to be mocked with.  
Arthur was silent for something that felt like an eternity, his response was all the more simple. "Yes."

I stared at him. Yes. That's all he said. Yes. And, wasn't that was I needed? What I wanted to hear? A simple yes? "Good", I said. Startled at first, but then more joyful. A bright smiled bloomed on my face and I beamed at him, with glowing eyes for sure. I felt like I just lost a ton of weight. There was another suspicious voice, reminding me that he could lie out here and that his one-word response was very atypical, but I shoved it aside. I already had the connection, I could bond whenever I wanted. I had the power here. But having his consent just felt a thousand times better. Not able to stop myself, I hugged him for real, wrapping my arms around him, letting my chin rest on his shoulder. I barely managed that by balancing on my toes but he surprisingly made this easy for me by returning my hug, rising me up a little.  
"I missed you", I whispered in his ear and he hugged me tighter. It was interesting to see Arthur's soft spot on my own, because my visions offered none at the time. At least not that kind of soft spot. That came later, but I refused to think about it with every inch of my body. I wanted to live in the present.

* * *

I was still in a very good mood, when the sunlight woke me up. Sunlight? Shit! I got dressed as quickly as possible and rushed out of the house. It couldn't be very late, everyone else had still been asleep but Will said he left at dawn. And yes, the door to his house was already standing open. I stood in the middle of village, unsure where to turn, until I followed my gut, making my way to the place I intercepted him yesterday. And indeed, Will's back appeared when I walked up the little hill surrounding Ealdor. He had a very slow pace and some narcissistic part in me wanted that this was because he waited for me to come with him. Either way, I caught up to him before Ealdor even was out of sight. He turned his head when he heard my steps, an almost comical mix of expressions following. At first he seemed surprised and relieved to see me, then there was simple joy I was there, but the second he noticed that I had no belongings or anything with me, his face darkened and I could see him swallow. The moment I reached him, he looked at me emotionless.

"You can't keep me from going", he said, starting the conversation.  
Good, because that was not what I wanted. I just wanted for him to come back later. "I could yesterday."  
"Yesterday was different. Haven't you heard the speech your great prince gave last night? It isn't enough that all the men will die, no! Now he must lead all the women towards their doom too! When the dust settles, nothing will be left!"  
I tilted my head. "Maybe, maybe not. But you won't be here to see, will you? You won't be here to make a difference."  
He blinked at my answer and then shook his head. "I am not a fighter. There is nothing I can do."  
"You can always do something", I started but he interrupted me, suddenly all angry again:  
"Yeah? How would you know?! You do not know me! Or this village! You have no business being here!" His tone changed as he approached me, taking my hand into his. "Come with me! You have nothing that binds you there! We could start over!" His blue eyes, so similar to Arthur's and yet so different, were piercing through mine.  
I gave him a sad smile and decided to go full risk: "I do have something there. Someone that gives me hope. The same person you could have."  
He took a step back, dropping my hand. "Merlin? What is your business with him?"  
"Not Merlin. Not directly. But someone equally important."  
He pulled a face. "The prince? Are you also blinded by his words?"  
I shook my head. "I am never blind. The opposite, actually. I can see much more than I should be able to."  
He snorted, it sounded a bit confused. "What? Are you some kind of prophet? Can you tell the future?"  
Bingo. Not that this term would mean something to him. "Something like that. And that is why I am here! To tell you to stay close. Something terrible will happen if you don't." That wasn't even a lie. He was too stunned to say something and I pulled my hand out of his. Suddenly confident that I said everything needed to be said I gave him a last encouraging smile and turned on my heels, disappearing in the village. I could feel his stare between my shoulders for quite a while after I was back in the house.

I had done everything I could. I planted the seeds inside Arthur and Will, hoping for them taking the shape I needed. But it was far too early to tell. Which didn't stop me from watching everything very closely. Will was gone, but that was nothing to worry about. The small poking in the back of my head, whispering that it was this very morning were the first equal conversation between Arthur and Gwen took place, well, I tried my best to ignore that. Which meant I wasn't at all successful because I crept behind some tree to watch everything unfold. I hadn't considered this specific variable when I made my plan and was relieved and disappointed at the same time, when Arthur only seemed a bit more thoughtful than I originally recalled from my vision.

I was even more unsure, when I stood at the door during Arthur's conversation with Merlin, trying hard not to feel like a spy, following him around, eavesdropping in his chats like that. But that was the perfect opportunity for him to ask Merlin about his magic. I had instructed him yesterday to simply not do that, for Merlin couldn't suspect anything. And again, anything went smoothly, just like I remembered.  
"Cassandra! Inform Arthur, they crossed the river!", Morgana shouted towards me. Okay, not everything like I remembered.  
Just when Arthur stopped talking, I took Morgana's place and appeared in the doorway. "Arthur? They've crossed the river."He followed me out, leaving Merlin behind.  
"Were will you be? If I recall correctly, you are not the fighting type. At least not with a sword", he muttered to me as we were walking.  
I tilted my head. "I'll be nearby, giving everyone I can connect with a pretty bad headache. And I will distract Will at the right moment."  
He looked at me. "And when would that be?"  
I left his question unanswered since we reached the others. Didn't matter anyway. He would see. Hopefully he understood that he couldn't behave like he was too sure. That was also something I already told him. But who knows how he will react when he finally knows my words to be truthful.

The battle unfolded like I had seen it, plus a few men, screaming with their hands at their heads, which were stupid enough to target me. That offensive use of my powers drained me, more than it should, and I saw a few villagers, looking irritated. But since none of them even had a name in my visions, I wasn't worried. Will also arrived at the perfect moment and I allowed myself a little sigh of relief. I quickly made sure I got close to thim, which almost got me killed by Kanen himself, but I jumped ahead early enough to dodge his mace and his horse, rolling over towards the two men. I ran the last part after Merlin had already started his spell. Everyone else was busy with fighting, none heard him say the magic words, except me of course.  
"What is he doing?", I asked Will, who hastily turned around, turning red. Merlin was too occupied to even notice my question and I asked again, laying my hands at Will's chest.  
"Cassandra! Please, don't worry... he isn't... evil or something like that.", Will stuttered and turned more towards me, gripping my shoulders. I had to suppress a deviant smile. Exactly as I wanted to. I knew what Arthur would see know, when he looked. Merlin's tall figure at the right side, only his back and one hand to be seen, me next to him, head turned towards the storm he conjured and Will's profile, since he was fully turned to me, both of his hands laying on my shoulders, disqualifying him from being the one with magic.

Merlin let go of his spell and I knew that the moment I wanted to create was over. I pulled my hands back, as did Will, and turned to look at Merlin. He glanced at me from the corner of his eye, a very serious expression on his face. I would also have to talk to him. Simply reassuring him, that he didn't need to worry. The wind was working in our favour and dissolved as quickly as it came. Merlin opened his mouth, but didn't got the chance to say something. Kanen's fight with Arthur started and I didn't notice how I grabbed Merlin's arm, clutching it tight as I watched. When Arthur turned towards us, after Kanen fell, his expression changed when he saw my hand around Merlin's arm. So I quickly let go.

"Who did that?"  
We exchanged a look before Merlin asked: "What?"  
"Wind like that doesn't just appear from nowhere", Arthur stated. "I know magic when I see it. One of you made that happen."  
He studied all three of us, his face didn't give anything away. I guess he was a much better actor, than I thought. Although I noticed that his eyes were set on Merlin, even before he said "Arthur..." in a very soft voice, only to be interrupted by Kanen's last attempt to kill the prince. Will saved him, just like I had seen, and I closed my eyes in pain when I heard the 'Thump' of an arrow hitting Will's chest. I rushed by his side, just like Merlin and Arthur did, not noticing any word that was said. My eyes were glued to Will's face, not letting go of his hand even when they brought him inside the nearest house. It was not only Arthur Will looked at when he told his lie about possessing magic, his eyes were so full of hope that I wouldn't betray him, that I would protect his best friend just like he did, tears started to assemble in my eyes, making my vision blurry. Arthur played along, although I saw his clenched fists beneath the table, and how he gave me some accusing looks while doing so.

After the prince and everyone else except me and Merlin disappeared, Will talked again.  
"I was right about him. I told you he's gonna get me killed", he said, shaking and shivering while trying to grin. But that disappeared after he focused me. "You have to keep it", he continued, pressing my hand with every strength he got left. "Merlin is a great man. And one day, he will serve a great king. You have to keep his secret."  
Now I really bursted into tears, nodding and mumbling "Yes, of course", all over again.  
Will looked at his childhood friend. "Now you can still make that happen", he told him, even more struggling than a moment before.  
"Thanks to you", Merlin replied, a soft smile on his lips.  
"This place has been boring without you... and it got only a bit better when Cassie arrived." He pressed my hand again. "Thank you, for being there, turning me back.", were his last words to me.  
And "Good to see you again", the last ones towards Merlin. Me, being an extra variable in this conversation robbed him of the time to tell how scared he was, like he did in my vision, and I had no idea how I felt about that. Well, actually I did. After his struggle stopped and Merlin closed the eyes of the now dead body, I broke down, crying and sobbing. That was brutal. The pain and the guilt were overwhelming me. I was used to being a bystander, watching from the distance as people suffered. But now? Not only witnessing that pain, but causing it? Being the direct reason he died, like he had confirmed moments before his death? A confirmation I didn't need, because almost all my time here, I was more or less plotting for him to die. Moving him around like a pawn by my own hand, actually doing something than just letting it happen. That was nothing I experienced before and the weight was crushing me.

I barely noticed Merlin, wrapping his arms around me, tears also on his face.  
"I am sorry, I am so sorry", I repeated, over and over again. "I made him turn back, I brought him back, I led him to his death. I am so sorry."  
"It is not your fault." He could hardly speak. "I do not know you very well, but you managed to get into Will's heart and that means something. And he thanked you for what you've done. Thanked you for reminding him who he is and where he belongs. Do not blame yourself for what happened." My sobbing got even worse. He had no idea what I knew and what I had done. He should hate me. I should resent the comfort he offered by pulling me even tighter towards him, but I couldn't. It felt so good to bear my face in Merlin's chest, the rings of his chainmail cooling my crying-hot face.  
"I will keep it. Your secret.", I mumbled in his chest.  
"What?", he asked and I pulled only far enough away that I could look in his eyes.  
"I will keep your secret. I suspected something before, I overheard a conversation between you and your mother, but I didn't really know what to make of it then." That was a lie, of course, while they were talking I had my special moment with Arthur.  
Merlin looked like he wanted to say a lot, but out of his mouth came only: "Thank you. I appreciate it."  
I nodded, but couldn't bring myself to smile. I felt like I would never smile again. It wasn't only Will's death I had caused instead of prevented, it was also the fact that I mourned more for my own innocence, than for the actual life that got taken today. Which made my guilt and my self-hate for that grow even more.

The rest of the day flew by me without really noticing it. Will's body got burned outside the village, I helped to build the pyre. I also just barely noticed Arthur playing his role further. My respect for him grew with every minute. It must be very hard for him to keep that charade, Arthur was a pretty straight-forward person. And knowing that he only did all of that because he layed his faith in me and my words, that I could see it all and that I would know when the right moment for him to act was. On any other day, I would have loved this strong sign of his faith, but right now, it felt like someone was mocking me. No, not someone. The Editor. This was her punishment for disobeying her and her plan for me. I swallowed. If that growing hole inside me was the price I would have to pay for actions like that, I would never do it again.

Hunith offered me to stay, but I declined. I explained to her that I did not belong here more than Merlin did. Actually I belonged with him, and with Arthur, but of course I couldn't say that. Instead I told her something about everything here remembering me of Will. When she gave me her condolences about losing a young love that early, I almost vomited with self-despise. But I gave her a sad smile and a Thank you. But different than the others, I would leave the next morning. I was able to reach my home in a day's march and I had no need to cut that in half and spend the night in the woods. Morgana gave me a nod and a smile, Guinevere hugged me and said if I would ever be in Camelot, I should visit her. That surprised me since we barely talked, but my smile was honest. As honestly as I could make it considering what lay ahead. Merlin also hugged me and said I should only ask if I would ever need anything. Arthur's goodbye was even shorter than Morgana's, but felt a lot more intense. He grabbed my hand and placed a kiss on its back, telling me he had a feeling we would see each other again soon. And he was right. Of course he was.

* * *

And... finished! What do you think? When I wrote that, I got the feeling this chapter just didn't want to be finished. But I am pretty satisfied with how it turned out. And with that, ten down, three more to go. Although this was already the emotional highlight I think. Apropos emotional, I hope I delivered everything properly... let me know!

I am sorry to say that there will be a at least 2 week break! I am on vacation without anything to write properly. When I am home I will finish the last three chapters and then this story will end! I decided to give every season their own story. It was kinda more fitting. But don't worry. I have every intention to go on. I have already quite a bit planned. It could just take a while because I will be home for only one week and after that I am backpacking in New Zealand. No idea if/how/when I will be able to write there, but I'll figure something out. Promise!


	11. The Labyrinth of Gedref

**The Labyrinth of Gedref**

"Hey there..." I wasn't even surprised when I found myself just outside of Ealdor, the familiar pile of wood nearby.  
"Cassandra!" Arthur approached me so fast, I almost stumbled back when he, very abruptly, stood in front of me.  
It was difficult putting my usual mocking smile on and, judged by his expression getting clouded with worry, he could see that.  
"I would ask if you are okay, but it seems very obvious that you are not", he stated, laying his hands on my shoulders.  
"That you are not all up in my face actually helps a lot. I had no way to be sure of your reaction when we would be here again."  
Arthur looked around, a slight smile on his face. "My mind I presume. The location would fit. The past few days I wanted nothing more than to talk with you. Being normal around Merlin was extremely hard."  
I shifted my weight a bit uncertain and bit my lip. "I am sorry I had to put you through that. I had a few problems entering my mind. Every time I tried I saw Will's face and heard his voice, thanking me for organizing his death." My voice almost broke and I took a few deep breaths to pull myself together. I looked at Arthur again, blinking the upcoming tears away. He seemed torn between pity and something I interpreted as anger.  
With a very neutral voice he asked: "You knew, didn't you? That he would die?"  
I nodded. "And I knew that something kept him from leaving for good. I just had no idea it would be me." Despite my efforts, a tear escaped my eye and I wiped it away.  
"I would like to say it wasn't your fault, but I can't." Arthur stated and frowned.  
I pulled my shoulders up, almost defensive. "Do you think different of me now?"  
He was silent for a while, but then a quiet "Yes...", escaped his mouth. Looking surprised, he quickly added: "But I also think that you didn't had much of a choice. You are being used, the same way you have to use me and Will. I blame that Editor, not you."

His reassurance soothed my troubled inside, at least a little. I smiled up to him and formed "Thank you" with my lips. He returned my smile and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead, sweeping a few strands of hair aside. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips on my skin, shivering.  
"You need to tell me if you spoke about me", I told him, trying my best to get back to business. He wrinkled his brows and I quickly explained: "I can't just erase everything, it would be weird if you couldn't recall conversations with Merlin or Morgana you might had about me. I have to take that into consideration. And you words have to fit the image I leave of myself."  
Arthur tilted his head. "You can't see if I talked about you?"  
I shook my head: "Nothing about myself, remember? Does that mean you did talk about me?"  
He took his hands off my shoulders and scratched his neck, almost looking a bit embarrassed. "I asked Merlin on our way home what he thought of you after the girls went to sleep. He said he liked you but that there was something about you that pulled him towards you. It troubled him." He considered his words and added: "That wondered me a little. And I didn't like hearing it."  
His last sentence got quieter towards the end and I suppressed a grin and nodded instead. "Yeah, there was an instant connection forming between Merlin and I that I can't quite make out why either. I most certainly wasn't expecting it to happen, it completely threw me off when I first met him."  
The prince stared down at me but I just shrugged. I had no idea what to make with that bond slightly pulsing in the back of my mind.  
"Well, he wanted to know why I asked and I fear my answer that I thought I met you before wasn't good enough, he teased me about liking you. And assured me that, besides his troubles, he had a good feeling about you and I would have his blessing to go at it once I meet you again." He rolled his eyes but couldn't hide his blush.  
This time I didn't hide my grin and I winked at him, saying: "Noted. I will adapt your image of me to that effect."  
"Yeah, please do", muttered Arthur in a voice that led me to believe I was not suppose to hear that.

I smiled up to him. "I will be back tomorrow night. Everything will be back to normal."  
"Except this time, I have no reason to doubt any of your words.", Arthur said a bit melancholy.  
I tried to lighten the mood. "Not quite back to normal then. But we will figure that out." I smiled at him and he returned my smile, hesitantly, but warm.  
"See you tomorrow then?", he asked and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.  
I nodded and briefly considered if I should hug him. I was ripped out of that when I already felt his arms, pulling me towards his chest. I embraced him, almost buried my face in his neckline, inhaling his scent. The thought that it was weird that I could smell things in a place that didn't exist, briefly crossed my mind, but I tossed it aside quickly. He let go after what felt like an eternity and it was still too early.  
"Sleep well", I whispered and placed a light kiss on his cheek. I was uncertain if we ever had a proper goodbye before, either way it felt like the first time and my smile remained, even after I ended the meeting.

* * *

"Well, here we are. Back to normal." With my arms open, I presented his chambers, a place that grew to be just as familiar as my own home. Arthur was sitting on a chair, his head rested on his crossed hands. I sat down on the table just before him, looking down on his face. He seemed worried, of course, but I could still make out that tiny smile that appeared when he glanced at me.  
"You can probably tell that I am not here without a reason."  
Arthur frowned. "I figured that it has to do with food and water running out in all the kingdom."  
"Yes, unfortunately. Lucky for me, my underground stream and secret garden seem to be unaffected. For whatever reason."  
He looked a bit relieved. "The power protecting you must be greater than the sorcery that wishes to do you harm."  
I shrugged. "Suppose so. Sometimes having an almighty... ally", I almost spat that word out, "Can be helpful. Although I have to admit I hoped it wouldn't happen at all, that my influence was already great enough for you to... just not kill an innocent being. Especially not an obviously magical one."  
"Wait what? What do you mean?" He straightened in his chair and let his hands rest on the armrest of his chair, close to my knees.  
I stared at him in disbelief: "Are you serious? Even in realms without magic, people know that it is an extremely bad idea to kill a unicorn."  
He shook his head with a slight grin. "Realms without magic? Sometimes I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about, but I don't ask because it wouldn't do any good."  
"You are right, it wouldn't. But haven't you heard? Which mad thought could bring you to slay something as pure as a unicorn?" I never understood that. Even with all my extra knowledge, unicorns always were the symbol of innocence, light and magic.  
He shrugged. "We were hunting. What is your problem? Merlin didn't stop pestering me about that too."  
I sighed. "You have to connect the dots. Why did you kill that unicorn?"  
Arthur crossed his arms. "I am a hunter. Kill animals is what I do. For a number of reasons."  
I sighed again, deeper this time. "Obviously. But I still have hope that, someday, my visions won't become true and I can proudly tell you which dangerous incident you have managed to avoid."

Arthur was shortly silent, his brows furrowed. "Wait. Are you telling me that the crops dying and the wells being full of sand really is related to me killing that unicorn?" His face turned white considering that he may have caused the lack of food and the suffering of his people.  
A sad smile spread across my face and I shrugged. "I wish I could tell you something else. And not even Merlin's magic is strong enough to do anything against that. Believe me, he tried."  
"What about that man? Anhora or something? He said something accordingly, but I didn't believe him."  
"He told the truth. He is the keeper of unicorns. He is not the one who cursed Camelot. But he will be the one who tests you."  
His frown deepened and he leaned forward. "What kind of tests?"  
"Tests to prove your compassion and judgement. I can't tell you how exactly they will look like, but I still have hope you will pass all of them."  
"You hope I pass all of them? You hope?" He got up, running a hand trough his hair and started pacing. "If you only hope I will pass them all, it means you have seen that I fail at least one. And that sorcerer said if I fail one of them, Camelot will be doomed forever!"  
I bit my lip. Arthur got better in reading me every day. Or night, if you want to be fastidious. He turned towards me again, enraged, but not with me. With himself, and watching that, was even worse.  
"There will be a first time my visions do not come true. Why not this time?"  
He mumbled something under his breath I couldn't make out.  
So I tried again: "Listen, there is nothing you can do. The only comfort I can provide is telling you that the casualties of this event are not the main focus of my visions. Which can mean that there are not that many."  
"Even one man, dying because of me is one to much!", he shouted and I got off the table and stepped in his path, effectively stopping his pacing.  
"You are going to be a king. There will always be something that costs the life of innocents, whether you caused it or not. You have to remember: You can save everyone!" My eyes started watering again with the last sentences and Arthur uttered a deep sigh, reminding himself I could relate. I hold him at the shoulders when I spoke and looked deep in his blue lakes. "You can't safe everyone. It will kill you if you try.", I repeated and he finally relaxed his tense body and sighed.

"This will be the hardest part of being king", he muttered, I was unsure to me or to himself.  
"It is definitely not pleasant, believe me", I answered anyway and he layed his forehead against mine, causing me to close my eyes.  
"Thank you. For being here", he finally said and my eyes flew open wide. I could barely stop my mouth of doing the same. His look was intense, and I gave him a very bright smile.  
"There has been a time I thought I would never hear that."  
"There was a time I was sure I would never say that", Arthur replied, and we smiled at each other.  
I pulled away to mockingly drop into a curtsey. "It is my honour, my prince."  
He finally laughed and I ended the connection feeling good about myself.

* * *

"What... what happened?" Arthur sat up. He was laying in his bed, with a major headache. I quietly approached him and handed him a cup of water.  
"You drank from the goblet", I said, smiling at him.  
"Yes, I... I drank the poison!" Arthur was out of his bed and I tried my very best to not be distracted. He was barefoot and had no shirt on. His reasons to present himself like that didn't reveal themselves to me and apparently neither to him, judging by his blushing and how fast he pulled over a jacket. I bit my lip. That sight was not really better but I managed somehow to stay on topic.  
"It wasn't poison. Just a sleeping draught. Anhora explains Merlin right now that you passed your test by showing you would give your life for Merlin. You have proven to be pure of heart." I grinned as he let out a relieved laugh, falling back on his bed.  
"Thank god. Does that mean the curse will be lifted?"  
I nodded and his grin got brighter. "Good. Very good."

We sat in silence for a while until I started talking again.  
"There isn't anything I can show you this time. But I want to apologize."  
"For what?"  
I began pacing. "I am sorry I couldn't be there until it was all over", I started, shifting my weight. "I wanted to be there for you, especially when I saw that you still failed one test."  
Arthur's expression darkened. "It was necessary. I will never put my pride before my people again."  
"You didn't know you were doing that.", I reminded him softly.  
"Than I put my pride before the life of another man. That isn't better!", he hissed, getting up again. I stopped him by touching his shoulder.  
"But you learned your lesson. And I wasn't finished."  
He hesitated and raised an eyebrow.  
"I wanted to be there but I was stopped by something I didn't saw coming. Anhora visited me."  
"He did what?" Arthur came a step closer. "What did he want with you? I thought you were protected from that curse?"  
"I was. But that was not why he came. He said you would have to face your tests alone. Completely alone. He thought if I would be able to visit you my influence would somehow count as cheating. That you wouldn't act on your own. And while his power isn't strong enough to overcome the Editor's protection, it certainly is strong enough to overcome my power and block my connection to you."  
"So, he...locked you out?" Arthur placed a hand on my cheek and lifted my head, searching for any sign of... what exactly? "Are you alright?"  
"Yes, I am. I got a bit panicked though. I was constantly testing if I could go back to you, entering and leaving Summer's mind regularly to make sure my powers still worked."  
I shrugged, trying to downplay my worry. Summer fled the cave on the second day and I took that as a sign and tried not to worry so much. But as soon as I felt the bond to Arthur pulsating again, I got back to him. Here.

"Everything went back to normal as soon as you passed the final test. So here I am." I lifted my arms slightly and dropped them again, in a kind of 'Tada'-gesture.  
"Yes. Yes you are..." Arthur's thumb had been brushing my cheek and now it wandered from my cheek towards my lips.  
I hold my breath and stared up to him. When did he get so close?  
"You know... I thought about you. Today."  
I tilted my head, embracing his touch in the process. He thought about me? While he was awake?  
"While I was drinking from the goblet... I thought about all people near to me. Merlin, my father, Gwen, Morgana..."  
The small part of my brain which could still think properly cheered that he, subconsciously, named Merlin before his father, and booed that Gwen wasn't last place.  
"And then your face was there. And I remember wondering why I was thinking about you and the remorse I felt for not getting to meet you ever again. Right now, of course I know why, but I could imagine my awake-self will have some troubles with that."  
He chuckled and I had to laugh myself. It was a delighted, through and through pleased sound, full of relieve and joy. The sound faded and I found myself caught by Arthur's gaze, that flickered between my eyes and my mouth. I couldn't resist glancing towards his lips and his hand, that wandered to my neck in the meantime, send shivers down my spine. Arthur took another steps forward, in an attempt to close every space between us and I closed my eyes in expectation, feeling his bare chest beneath my hands, slightly opening my mouth to... open my eyes wide and a strange squeak escaping my mouth when Arthur tripped over our feet and fell forwards, dragging me along.  
In romantic stories the hero would fall right on the girl's mouth, I thought with irony while the dream dissolved.

* * *

Uuuups... sorry for that interruption. ;)  
But hey, after Cassie and Arthur did what they wanted and developed this thing completely on their own, I am glad to say I finally know where I want to take that relationship. I am back in charge, yeah!

Another good news, by the time I upload this, I should be done with the last remaining chapters for this season. Bad news the same as last time: I have no idea when I will be able to start the second season. I downloaded the complete second season of Merlin so every time I get my hands on a laptop or even just a proper keyboard I will be writing, I promise!


	12. To Kill the King

**To Kill the King**

"Are you alright?" I spoke as soft as possible and wrapped my arms around myself. It was cold here.  
"No. No I am not." Arthur had one arm leaning against the wall, his fist resting against the edge of the tiny window, that allowed a bit of light into the cell. Moonlight, as I noticed.  
"Uther is a very... strict man", I said carefully. I still couldn't see his face and that made me uncomfortable.  
"No need to be selective with your words, I know that you don't like him. You made that quite clear in the past."  
I took a step towards him, but didn't dare to touch his arm. I had never seen him like that before. A tiny cell, nothing on his clothes gave away that he was a prince. Almost like... like he was ashamed to be.  
"Can you blame me?"  
His breathing sounded loud in the small space, his sigh had the effect of an canon blast. If they had any. Did they? I didn't know.  
"No. No I cannot. He killed Gwen's father, without knowing what was going on in his head. He didn't gave him a trial and even if, the result would have been the same. He is the judge and once he made up his mind, there is no convincing him."  
"Are you sure? Maybe you can speak to him on Morgana's behalf. Maybe he will listen."

Arthur sighed again, turned around and looked at me. "I can try. But when he is like this... he locked Morgana up for speaking against him. I could end up in a cell next to hers."  
"He did do that before..." I remembered how Arthur spend a night in a cell, while Merlin was fighting for his life.  
"I hate feeling so torn. I can't agree with him, because I just don't. But I also can't disagree with him, it would do more harm than it could ever do good."  
"Morgana had a point. He is drunken with power and will do anything to keep it. He will make an enemy out of everyone who goes against his rules. And then he will act against anyone who speaks against him. If he continues on this path, he won't be a king anymore. He will be a tyrant. And on his dying day, the people will cheer instead of cry."  
I couldn't look at Arthur during my speech, instead I looked up towards the window, at the little stripe of heaven I could make out. I could feel his gaze on me, considering if that was a prophecy or not. I wanted to comfort him, to be near him. But that wasn't this type of meeting.  
"It is not over, is it? The fact that you are here, this night. Something started."  
"Yes", I whispered, Morgana's pale and hateful face and her eyes glowing with magic staring at me from my mind, "Something started. Something awful."

* * *

"I do not understand." We were in his chambers again, this time the places were switched. I was the one staring at the outside world and down to the yard and he was standing at the door, slowly approaching me while he continued to talk. "You said, something started. Something terrible. I expected a catastrophe, people dying, magic tormenting us, but the only thing that happened is that my father and Morgana got attacked. It may be unusual and dangerous, but... not that unused to us. Everyone was killed and they weren't hurt."  
"You are right, they weren't. Interested to see why?" Without waiting for an answer a big mirror appeared by my side. I wasn't looking, I knew too well what I would see.

**A few images went by fast, Merlin running through the halls of Camelot, the bad guys, hiding behind trees while Uther and Morgana rode by, Merlin stumbling over the bodies of the guards the two royals left behind. He had the staff of Aulfric's in his hands and followed the men who meant to kill the king. With one word and two blue strikes, he killed two of them, leaving only their leader. Who possessed the stone. Tauren used it to reflect Merlin's attack, rendering him unconscious. The bandit almost managed to kill Uther but Morgana came to the rescue, stabbing him from behind. **

"He helped them", Arthur stated, his tone indefinable. "I am confused. How did he know they would be there?"  
I had a serious expression when I turned around. "What do you think?"  
Arthur hesitated. "My logical side tells me, that he must have known because he conspired with them. But my instinct disagrees. Strongly."  
That managed to put a smile on my face. "He overheard the plotters. But he was... too conflicted to be there on time."  
Arthur was silent.  
"He asked the Kilgharrah what he should do... but the Great Dragon hates Uther and would welcome every opportunity to see him dead."  
"Then why did he do it? Why did Merlin help?" Arthur started pacing, while he spoke. "He knew Camelot would be a much safer space for him without my father around. I would never suspect Merlin of possessing magic."  
"He hopes one day you might", I said with a shrug. "But that is not the point. He considered it, really. It was Gwen who put him back on the right track." I accentuated the word 'right' making it obvious I wasn't so sure about that.  
Arthur looked at me with a deep frown. "I could have understood if Gwen wanted him dead. And, even though I would probably never admit it outside, I can understand why Merlin would. And... why you would."  
The last words were a bit quieter and I shrugged again. "You can't know what I know and like Uther. But I am no murderer and the time for Uther to die hasn't arrived yet." I knew Uther's death would be a turning point in our relationship, a potential conflict. I never thought there would be a reason someday for me to be glad of Uther's survival. "Gwen is a good person. Better than me, better than Merlin. She had nothing real to gain from Uther's death. It would just make her a murderer. Merlin agreed. And although he already killed people, Merlin is a lot, but not a murderer."  
For some reason that was important to be said and Arthur nodded in agreement.

We were silent for a while, both lost in our own thoughts, but Arthur was finished sooner. "That still doesn't explain your words. You made me believe something terrible were to come. I braced myself for that."  
"And you should. I wasn't lying, something terrible was born. I always thought it came at another time, it took me to re-live all of the current events to notice, that although the flower of hatred bloomed another time, its seed was planted now. And it remains silent and peaceful, until there is enough to feed on and grow."  
I only noticed the tears forming in my eyes when they started rolling down my cheeks.  
"Cassie! Cassie, what is wrong?" Arthur approached me fast, framing my face with his hands, wiping the tears away almost as fast as they build.  
"I don't know. I honestly don't." That wasn't a lie, I had no idea why the birth of Morgana's darkness upset me that much. Maybe I mourned the innocent, sweet girl she had been until she lost that part of her core a few days ago.

"Talk to me! What is there to come?" His eyes were clouded with worry but his voice had some kind of push.  
I shook my head, releasing it from his hands. "I can't. Not yet. Even with all the faith you have in me, you wouldn't believe. And if I forced you to, by showing you the truth of my words, I am afraid that this same faith will cause the seed I plant in your head to grow too strong too fast. I would lose control. And although it could prevent a lot of terror, it could also conjure even more, from an angle I will be unable to see. I can't risk it."  
Arthur still shifted uncomfortably when I mentioned how I planted believes in his head, but didn't comment on it. "Will you tell me some day or is it something I will have to see on my own to connect the dots?"  
"I am afraid it will be the ladder. And I am truly hoping, you will see me the same after it all becomes clear to you."

"I don't know how I could ever see you differently from what I see right now", spoke Arthur very soft and he cornered me, his thumb gently gliding over my cheek.  
"And how is that?" I tried hard to keep my typical mocking undertone in my voice but it didn't sound right.  
"You move people around like pawns. You try to shape the future how you need it. You manipulate and lie and you decide over the value of life. Like you decided that Will's life had less worth than me knowing the truth."  
I looked at him like he hit me. How could he say all that, obviously believing it, in such a soft voice? With his fingers playing with the hair surrounding my face? I started walking backwards as he started to speak, like I could run away from the words, which were undeniably true. I wanted to press the hands against my ears, to shout at him that I didn't want to do anything like that, that I had no choice. I was chosen and I never got a say in it. I was stopped by bumping in the table on my way backwards, the edge now pressing itself against my back. A quick glance told me that I managed to hit the opening between two chairs and with Arthur in front of me, I had nowhere left to flee.  
"And you sacrifice", Arthur continued, he had followed me, his hands gliding down my body but his eyes never left mine. "You sacrifice yourself for what you think is right. You are gentle, kind and compassionate und doing what the Editor forces you to do, it eats you up. You have more power than I could ever have and yet you meet me eye to eye, doing your best to make me understand how it is like in your head. To make me understand why you do what you do. And you know what? I can understand. And I am not sure if I would do it any different if I would be your shoes."  
My eyes had gotten bigger and bigger and I was sure my gulping face was not really considered attractive, but Arthur didn't seem to mind. His smirk got a bit wider and he got even closer if possible.  
"And on top of that... you made me a better man ever since I met you. And that is the greatest gift a person can receive."

The moment his lips touched mine, something exploded in my chest. My arms, formerly just hanging down useless, wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling his head even closer. My eyes had closed, everything inside me focused on how good his lips tasted and how his firm grip around my waist send shivers up and down my spine. Suddenly I felt the tip of a tongue teasing my bottom lip and the sigh that managed to escape my mouth allowed him further in. I had lost track of time but when he finally pulled back, just far enough that the tips of our noses touched, we both breathed heavily and his eyes had darkened at least five shades. I bit my lip, it was swollen and still tasted like him. Where the hell was my self-confident cocky self when I needed it? It was crushed by the fact that you just got your first kiss, whispered a voice inside of me. And what of kiss.  
"Well you didn't do that for the first time", I mumbled, still a bit shaken up.  
His face, wearing a serious expression before, lit up and his smirk reappeared. "That good, yes?"  
I pulled his hair, which I suddenly noticed I had one hand in. "Don't flatter yourself."  
He laughed quietly and kissed me again, softer this time. "I wanted to do that since I saw you here again after Ealdor", he mumbled against my lips and I smiled.  
This time it was me who deepened the kiss and I think I never felt better in my life.

* * *

I am sorry that this chapter is so short! Not the shortest chapter so far, but still. It was more of a filller anyway, and I couldn't quite avoid for that to shine through.  
Hope you still enjoyed it. Next one will be the last!  
P.S. I am in New Zealand know. So please do not expect regular updates on the series! Although I am pretty confident I can post the final chapter on time.


	13. Le Morte d'Arthur

Hey there!  
Yes, I am still alive. I am back in Germany now and have my future more or less sorted out, so I have finally the time to pick this up. I have to admit, this chapter fas finished to 90 percent even before I stepped a foot in New Zealand, but I couldn't bring myself to edit it up and upload it. I hope you forgive me!  
On that account I would like to remind you to be gentle with me, I told what this fic was intended to be in the very first chapter. I admit, it kinda got a life of its own, but don't expect it to stray from the original show too much.  
To close, I hope you have fun with this chapter. It is the second longest so far!

* * *

**Le Morte d'Arthur**

"Hello there." I almost didn't recognize my own voice. Was that supposed to be me? That high, quirky pitch that escaped my mouth completely unplanned?  
Arthur turned from the tree he was leaning against, his whole face lit up when he approached me.  
"Well, hello there. I was expecting that you would come."  
"Oh really? What gave it away? I suppose the giant creature in the woods today had nothing to do with it?"  
A cocky smile spread on his face, he was standing right before me now, and leaned his head forward. "More the slightly breathless 'See you soon' you gave me, after I kissed you. To be honest, I was expecting something more confident." His tone remained flirty, but his eyebrow twitched, indicating that he had indeed expected a different handling from my side.  
I shifted uncomfortably. No need to tell him that this was my first kiss. Like... ever. Mentally or not. "Well let's just say, when I gave you that speech that someday you would be happy to see me, I wasn't expecting my words to come true like... that."  
"Would you want it any differently?"  
"No!" Shit. This answer came way too quick to be good for his ego. Fast, I had to fix it. "But do not flatter yourself. Although I wasn't really expecting it to actually happen, the thought that it could, crossed my mind once or twice." A big, fat lie. I had never thought anything like that would happen. I had been way to focused on my quest to even consider personal feelings.  
"Well then it won't surprise you if I do this." With a fluent move he grabbed my arms and pulled me in, holding my waist and placed a deep kiss on my lips. My hands got tucked in his hair again and some part of me registered, that we were moving backwards. When my back collided with a tree, I pulled my head back.  
"Stop."

He immediately stepped back, but his hands remained around my body. "Is everything okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned and had already started to scan my face for any sign of discomfort.  
I gave him a reassuring smile. "I am fine, don't worry. But if we continue with that, neither of us will be able to focus on why I am here."  
The cocky grin reappeared. "As you wish, Milady."  
The annoyance in my look hid how much I liked that nickname. I had never been anything to anyone. And I liked how Arthur put me on the same level as him. Maybe even higher, whispered the already known little voice and reminded me of his statement how he saw me last time. I would also have to talk to him about that. But I got off-topic.

I brought our conversation back to business. "You encountered the Questing Beast yesterday."  
He shrugged. "Gaius said as much. He also mentioned that it was a warning from the old religion."  
"Do you believe in it? The old religion?" I started walking around him, one hand never leaving his body.  
"I am conflicted. I was raised to despite it, yet I have a feeling it might be some truth to Gaius' words."  
I nodded thoughtfully, which he couldn't see since I was currently behind him. After a quick consideration I spoke: "Gaius had seen that thing before. The night your mother died."  
Arthur spun around so fast; my hand got warm from the pure friction. "What do you know about my mother?" Every playfulness vanished and he stared me down with his blue lakes yet again.  
I sighed. "Nothing I can already tell you. Believe me, we will discuss your mother. But it isn't time yet."  
"I hate it when you drop stuff like that. Merlin, Morgana, my father, my mother... do I know anything about the people I am close to?"  
I tilted my head. "You know all the important stuff. How they feel, how they act, what makes them the persons they are. All I know... are their secrets."  
"Sometimes one secret can change everything else", he reminded me, brows knitted, and I sighed.

"I know. But despite 'not knowing him'", I stressed that term with a lot of disbelieve, "You came back for Merlin yesterday. And lost one of your knights because of it. Why?"  
Arthur stared into the distance of the forest. "I don't know. I didn't think, I just acted. There was no way I could ever leave him behind."  
I repeated myself very softly: "Why?"  
He ran a hand through his hair. "Because he is more than just a servant. He is a good man and one of the very few people in my life I feel comfortable around. He is loyal to me, not my father. And I think my interests are for him more important than his own." He looked at me and the unspoken 'Which I can't say about you' drifted in the air between us.  
"And you feel all of that, despite the fact that he is a sorcerer?" It was a dangerous question, but an important one.  
This time Arthur sighed. "Yes. He may have magic but all he does with it is to protect me. Without getting any credit from anyone. How could I look down on a man like that?"

I stared at him. I hadn't expected this much acknowledgement from the prince. I believed he gave him much more credit than he let Merlin now. At this point of the story... it released a weight from my chest. There was no need to point out to Arthur what he got in Merlin any longer, he already knew. Although he still didn't use the word friend, as I suddenly noticed. But I was confident it wouldn't take long.

* * *

"What... what happened?" Arthur sat up from his bed. He wore his usual outfit plus a chainmail which looked a bit displaced in his bed. I got strength from the comfort of knowing that he wore his armor because of the dangers outside, not inside. I stepped to his bed and sank on the side of the mattress, stopping him from getting up. "You got bitten by the Questing Beast." My voice was steady, as steady as I could manage it.  
He got pale. "That is... not good." He stopped trying to stand and leaned back a bit. For a while we sat there, silent. "You didn't warn me."  
I didn't dare to look at him. I would have seen a more confused than angry young man, but I just kept playing with a piece of his blanket.  
"You didn't warn me. Why?"  
I shrugged, my fingers clenching the blanket a bit more. "If I could have it my way, I wouldn't let half the stuff happen to you in the first place. But then there are milestones, fixed points in time, something so big and important, I do not dare to wage with it. If I would have warned you yesterday, maybe your gut would have listened to Morgana more. Maybe you would've taken three man extra. Maybe you would've hesitated to leave and would have been late. I couldn't risk it." My hands were fists now, a bit shaking from the strength I used.  
"So you knew that this would happen, and you let it. Similar to Will."  
I froze. My whole body got stiff, even my hands weren't moving anymore. I felt so tense, I felt like I'd explode with the wrong movement. As fast as it appeared, it went away. Arthur's warm hand on my own sucked the tension faster out of my body than any vision could.  
"You know, I get tested every day. My father, Gaius', the knights... they all watch me and every move I make, waiting for a mistake that would prove to them... whatever they want to have proved. So are you. But you have the burden to have a much bigger entity than a king looking, and a much bigger task than the next guard shift you could mess up. Your faith is being tested. Your faith in an entity and its quest that you were chosen for. I will not be mad with you for that."

Arthur was a serious young man, but sometimes he was so childish and, ironically, prince-like, I forgot he was about to be the next king. The greatest king to have ever lived. And despite his young age, sometimes, when faced with extraordinary problems and decision, that shone through the veil of youth.  
My uncertain expression got replaced with a relieved one and I leaped forwards to hug the young prince. I could feel his smile when he whispered in my ear: "You can stop being afraid all the time. You won't get rid of me."  
Even though I knew that to be true, a small tear escaped my eye, representing all the potential of conflict still to come.

After what felt like an eternity I pulled back and studied Arthur's even in here paler getting face. "Do you want to know what happens to your body right now?"  
Arthur hesitated, but then he nodded, sitting straighter and looking concentrated as he held up our still intertwined hand gave me an encouraging smile. "Let's do this."

**We appeared in Gaius' working room, where Arthur's body were already laying on a table. After the guards disappeared, we watched the conversation between Gaius and Merlin unfold. I could feel him shifting when Merlin mentioned that it was his destiny to protect the prince and that he would do anything for his friend. Even die. Merlin went through his book with a lightning speed and managed to cast two spells that didn't show any effect, before the king rushed in. He carried his unconscious son through the yard, Merlin and Gaius behind him. We followed, and Arthur's grip on my hand got very, very tight as Uther collapsed in tears and the knights had to take over. They carried Arthur back in his bed that he left only minutes ago, and after a brief touch on his forehead, I got us back inside**.

"I have never seen my father like this", muttered Arthur and almost collapsed while trying to sit on a chair. I caught him and helped, but he was still confused about it, looking at me for an answer.  
"Your mind protects you from all pain, but you are still getting weaker. There is no stopping that", I quickly explained before moving on. "You know that I do not see a lot of good in Uther. His love for you may be the only thing. But even I would never doubt that he does love you. In his own, sometimes twisted, way."  
Arthur rubbed his forehead. "What happens next?"  
I tilted my head. "Merlin does what he always does when he doesn't know what to do. He will speak to Kilgharrah."  
"The dragon? He will heal me?"  
"No. He will only tell him, where he must go to ask for help. The center of the old religion. The Isle of the Blessed."  
Arthur frowned for a while and then sighed. "I feel like I should know all of this. But my father builds barriers around magic anywhere he can."  
I shrugged and hopped on the table, my feet resting on Arthur's chair, next to his legs. "He believes to have every reason to hate it. And you must never forget. While magic may not be evil, it also isn't good. A price will be demanded, and a price will be paid. Whether anyone likes it, or not."  
"A price? What kind of price?" His voice got weaker and in the end, his body sunk into itself, making his head rest on my knees.  
I changed my position so it would be my lap and started stroking his hair. "There is only one price that can pay for a life..."  
"A life." He finished my sentence and I shortly stopped before I continued. "Yes. A while ago it was for me to decide the worth of Will's life. Now it will be Merlin's task to decide yours."

* * *

I barely made it into Arthur's mind. It got foggy, and hazy, and it has taken a bunch more strength than I was used to need, to build his mindlayer up.  
"Why aren't you here all the time? You could, right? I am asleep all the time." He didn't greet me out of his bed, instead he was laying in mine, my favorite sheet tucked beneath him.  
My urge to raise an eyebrow and tease him about the location quickly vanished when I noticed how pale he actually was.  
"Several reasons", I answered and pulled a backless chair towards the bed. It wasn't wide enough to fit both of us next to each other. Well, it was when I was the one laying down and Arthur the one sitting, but I needed a lot less space. "First, if I would be here all the time, your body would rest, but your mind wouldn't since it'd be preoccupied. That is why I can't come very night, your mind needs time to rest and process. Second, I would also have to sleep all day and I know it seems different sometimes, but I do have a life to take care of besides our meetings. And third..." I grabbed his hand, just like Gwen did with his real body, "There was something you needed to hear."  
"Gwen...", he muttered and I nodded.  
"Last time you said I have powers you could never possess. That my magic makes me far more powerful than you. I need you to understand, that this is not true." He already looked like he wanted to say something, but I didn't give him any opportunity to. "I am powerful, yes. Because my magic allows me to trick people's mind, to let them do my bidding. Do you know, why you are far more powerful than I am?"  
He raised an eyebrow and waited. I smiled.

"Because you can lead people without any magic tricks. You can inspire them, make them see it your way, simply convince them. You have an extraordinarily strong mix of power and charisma. And one will always enhance the other. You do not make people obey you, like I do. You make them want to obey you. And that is a far more powerful gift."  
He still looked disbelieving. "People follow me because I am prince. I will be king. They are afraid of the consequences."  
I shook my head. Did he really have so little self-esteem? "No. They fear your father. They love you. Because you are forgiving when he is cruel. And you are kind when he is indifferent. Where Uther sees an enemy, you see an ally. And that is why they love you." I sighed and began rubbing his hand, letting mine wander up his arm until I cupped his cheek with my hand. "When are you finally going to believe, that you will be a much better king, than Uther could ever hope to be?"  
Arthur closed his eyes and pressed himself against my hand. "People keep saying that to me. You, Gwen, Merlin, Gaius..."  
I raised an eyebrow. They did? I didn't know about the last two.  
He had stopped talking and his eyes remained closed. I could feel that he drifted off to a deeper layer of his mind, similar like falling asleep. I smiled and quickly entered 'our room'. I just cut a single white strand between two of my fingers, in his state that would be more than enough to bring me back.

* * *

"I feel better." Arthur was standing tall in his room, dressed the way I was used to, presenting himself.  
"I can see that." And I could. When I entered, I could practically watch his mind getting clearer, stabilizing itself.  
"I was awake. And my father was there. I said something to him about..."  
"Having someone looking over you. A guardian angel.", I finished, a little smile spreading across my face.  
He looked thoughtful. "Yes... I was referring to Merlin. And to you. Without even knowing it."  
Well, it was debatable if I classified as a guardian angel since I couldn't really do something to actually protect him, but that wasn't a topic I really wanted to discuss.  
"So Merlin did it, then. He gave up someone else's life for mine..." His mood had changed. He still looked thoughtful, but it was darker. More regretting. "He shouldn't have done that."  
I was with him with two quick steps, grabbing his chin so he would look at me. "Yes, he should. You are extremely important. More important than any of us!"  
He pulled his chin away, his mouth was twisted in an upset way. "I am sick of hearing that! I am just a person. Like everyone else. No one, no one should die so that I can live!"  
"These are the perks of being a king. Especially a king of your importance." My voice was soft, I didn't want it to sound like 'Just shrug it off'.  
He sighed, deeply, and sat down on the edge of his bed. "I do not want to say that I don't want to be prince. I couldn't imagine being anything else. But how come that you, Merlin, my father, how come all of you are able to make decisions regarding the faith of an entire kingdom and be sure about them, while I am just getting more uncertain about myself with every problem I face?"

I kneeled down before him, crossing my arms over his legs. "Because we need to be sure. Uther is king, he must act strong. Merlin's fate is to watch over you. If he starts to question that, everything would fall apart. And I..." I shrugged and gave him an apologetic smile. "I do what I have to. I never really had a choice, my path is already written down. I can only walk it."  
Arthur had started to play with a strand of my hair. I let my chin rest on his knees and closed my eyes. I did my best not to show him, but I was tired. This whole thing started to drain me. Not this situation in particular, but before everything began, I only connected with animals, never entering someone else's mind. Especially not that regularly. I had tried so hard to act confident and certain with everything, hiding the fact that most of the stuff I did, regarding his memory and our bond, was completely new territory. Sure, I tested my powers when I was teenager, taking advantage of them, but this long-term shit? Never done it before.

"Whose life?"  
I got ripped from my thoughts rather abruptly. "What?"  
"Who is going to die? What bargain has Merlin struck?", Arthur repeated, looking impatient.  
I sighed. Of course that question would come. No use in getting my hopes up. "That is a bit complicated", I started and bit my lip, trying to figure out what to say.  
"How can it be complicated? You said it yourself, a life for a life. So whose life is at stake now?" He had gotten tense, I could tell that only my weight on his legs were keeping him from jumping up.  
"Right now? Hunith's."  
I didn't know which name he was expecting, but that was not it. "What?"  
"Hunith is making her way to the castle as we speak. She is extremely ill."  
"He traded his mother's life for mine?" This time there was no stopping him. With a quick, but still gentle, move, he placed my arms on his bed and got up, pacing through the room.  
I sighed and got up too, leaning against a pillar of his bed. "He wanted to trade his own life. That is what he expected. But creatures of the old religion are very rare, and no race, maybe except humans, likes to kill its own kind. Even when it means obeying their own rules. So Nimueh took the next best. His mother."  
"Nimueh? He struck the bargain with her?"  
I nodded and he started mumbling under his breath. "Of course...fool…trusting Nimueh...enemy...naive."  
I watched him walking up and down the room for a while, until I ripped him from his thoughts. "He is blaming Kilgharrah. And with a point. The dragon rarely does something without thinking of his own interests." Oops. That came out a bit bitter. I had no beef with Kilgharrah, I went to him for advice once, but I wasn't his biggest fan either. He is even more manipulative than me, and that means something.  
Arthur looked at me with the question in his eyes, but I shook my head, dismissing it.  
"So what is he going to do?"  
"What do you think?"  
Arthur had stopped pacing and simply stood next to me now. "He will try to save her. I know I would."  
I nodded thoughtfully. "He will come to you to say goodbye. Maybe try to remember that."  
He looked at me with an 'Are you serious' expression and I grinned before leaning forward, placing a kiss on his cheek.

I never did it before, but I was certain it would work. I materialized a bit behind Arthur, **just when the door swung open and Merlin entered**. I didn't know why I was so curious about that talk the two would have, but my gut told me that something would be different from what I remembered.  
It started like I had seen it, but that didn't last very long.  
**"You still haven't got it, have you? I decide when we need to talk." Arthur sat down, cup in hand.  
"Not today", replied Merlin, still leaning against the door.  
**"Well then, go ahead, with whatever that's so important that it allows you to call the shots now."  
**"Still the prat. The royal prat." Merlin moved closer and Arthur looked disbelieving for a moment, before he put the cup down and tried to hide his grin.  
"Are you ever going to change?"  
"No, you'd get bored." He got next to Arthur who had started to rub his injury. "You promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker."  
Arthur turned a bit to look at the young sorcerer, a frown appearing on his face. "That sounds like you won't be working for me anymore."  
Merlin shifted a bit, his gaze never left the prince. "I am happy to be your servant. To the day I die."**  
Arthur's frown deepened. "You look too serious to be joking. Tell me, what is going on?"  
"Why do you think there is something going on?"  
"Because I know you, Merlin. At least sometimes I think I do. "  
"Well, I know you. You are a great warrior. One day, you will be a great king."  
"You are making me worried."  
**"But you need to learn to listen as well as you fight."**  
Arthur remained silent, he had fully turned towards Merlin now, a pretty serious expression on his face.  
"That is all I wanted to say. Just... don't be a prat." Merlin turned and headed for the door.  
"Merlin!"  
The sorcerer hesitated, waiting.  
"Why do I have the feeling you are saying goodbye?"  
**Merlin slightly turned his head, a smile on his face. "Goodbye Arthur." Then he left.**

I watched the scene with a half-smile. It was different from what I remembered. I watched as Arthur grabbed his cup, taking a deep sip. He continued to stare into the flames of the fireplace when I disappeared.

* * *

"You weren't here yesterday.", said Arthur, sitting in his chair very similar to how I left him.  
"I thought your mind should process what happened on its own.", I answered, stepping in front of him, looking down.  
With a quick and sudden movement, he pulled me closer and lifted me on his lap, his arms around my body. I wrapped my arms around his neck, I was surprised, yes, but I enjoyed that sudden closeness.  
"He was really saying goodbye, wasn't he?"  
"Yes, he was. He rode to the Isle again the next morning."  
"Is... is he dead?" He asked very quietly and hesitantly, like he didn't really want to know.  
He couldn't see my smile as I answered: "Do you want to see what happened?"

Arthur's body got a bit stiff when he learned of Gaius' plan to sacrifice himself for Merlin and remained that way for a while.  
**We watched Merlin racing after his mentor and Gaius' talk with Nimueh. It could practically feel his frown when the sorceress mentioned how she helped Uther once, and his grip got tight when Gaius blamed her for Ygritte's death. The conversation unfolded and then cut to the point where Merlin became the third party in the bargain. He argued with Nimueh, a fight that ended in them throwing their magic at each other.** I could tell that he didn't notice it, but Artur's body got more tense the more Merlin got in danger. **When his servant got hit, he almost jumped up from his chair, despite having me on his lap. He froze when Merlin got up again, unleashing his magic on Nimueh. She was killed by lightning, bursting into pieces. The death itself was rather simple for someone with her powers, well, at least I thought so. Arthur relaxed a bit when Merlin rushed to Gaius' side, getting soaked from the weather he conjured. That immediately went away when Merlin yelled out his pain, only to appear again as Gaius woke up.**

I let them have their privacy and the mirror cleared up.  
"What just happened?", asked Arthur and I leaned a bit away from him to see his face properly.  
"The balance of life and death has been restored. Nimueh died, so Gaius may live."  
"So she is dead? Truly dead?"  
I nodded. "Yes. Another high priestess of the old religion is gone."  
He looked at me questioningly. "If I hadn't known better, I would say you are sad about that."  
I shrugged as well as I could with his arms still around me. "I do not mourn Nimueh. But even though my powers do not come from the old religion, I cannot help but to mourn the loss of another person who is like me."  
Arthur straightened himself, and me in the process too. "You are nothing like this witch, do you understand me?" His hands wandered up from my waist over my shoulders to cup my face. "You may share some traits, but that does not make you like her."  
"It doesn't?" I didn't try at all to hide the doubt in my voice.  
"No. It doesn't." He pulled me closer, one hand on my back now, the other in my hair.

When I still tried to say something, he shut me up effectively by pressing his lips on mine. My eyes closed, my hands tightened around his shirt, that I grabbed before. He deepened the kiss, managing to get his tongue in my mouth again and I shifted a bit until I sat comfortably on his lap. Ignoring the fact that in doing so, I applied pressure on his mid, something he didn't let go unnoticed.  
"Careful there...", he whispered, breathing heavily. "Don't start something you are not prepared to finish. "  
I blushed, hard, but managed to get my cocky smile back.  
"Oh really?" I used my right index finger to track the lines of his face, purposely shifting again. "And what makes you think that will be the one who won't be able to... finish?"  
He copied my blush now, his voice dropped a bit: "You are walking on dangerous territory."  
I grinned. "I sure hope so."  
His lips found mine again, pushing hard against my mouth. I swallowed a soft moan and tried to get my hands under his shirt, just to notice suddenly that it was gone. We parted, breathing hard and Arthur looked surprised on his bare chest. I had to laugh.  
"So that is how you are most comfortable right now?"  
He returned my grin and shrugged. "What can I say? My mind speaks for itself." He took his hands out of my hair and started tracing my face, cheek, nose, lips. His fingers left a hot trail and he moved it further down my neck, over my shoulder, ending at the edge of my cleavage.  
"And it gives you an unfair advantage."  
My eyes had rested on my hands, now laying on his bare chest, but now I looked up, meeting his dark blue fire. I cleared my throat, moving away from him. His hands twitched but he let me go. Holding his gaze, I stepped back towards the back, playing with the strings of my dress.  
"And we wouldn't want to be unfair, would we?" I pulled and suddenly there was much more skin meeting the cool air around me. I shivered and he was with me so fast, the movement seemed like a blur.  
"No, we wouldn't."  
And those hoarse words were the last spoken between us for quite an amount of time.

* * *

Well? Satisfied? That was officially the end for the first season! I will set this fic on Complete, just like I planned, but I will start with the second season soon. Maybe even today. I would be happy if you follow me there, as soon as the first chapter/episode is finished!

s/13577331/1/Now-you-Know

There is the link, like I promised! Have fun!


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